horn speaks.

2008-03-11T21:05:00.006+08:00

Today was exciting! I met Seto to eat lunch. Supposed to meet with Judith and Julia for lunch at YASSIN'S but it rained really badly and they ate at home instead. So I walked with my gay and out of shape umbrella to Boon Keng MRT to meet Seto before proceeding to the market area to get my jeans. Believe it or not, first I got myself all wet (well actually the rain did, I couldn't help ): ), and then I got us lost! Can't believe my sense of direction is that bad. I took a wrong turn and we went one big round around the HDB blocks. Hahaha. Anyways, after lunch and everything, waited for Judith and Julia at the steps... and took 23 to Tampines before changing to the train on our way to the airport! It was raining quite a lot, which pretty sucked! The ride home was funny, Julia didn't want to get off the train to change for a quick bus just because it was raining. Oh well, I didn't mind since the rain was pretty crappy. HAHA. Here come the photos! More of them over at Julia's livejournal!

P/S: The nicer photos you see here is most probably taken by Julia. She's waaayyyyy better than me D:

HELLO :D

2008-03-08T21:48:00.005+08:00

HELLO BLOG AND READERS! (:
I'm a happy boy in the world. I don't know why my parents do not want me to share this happiness though. "Keep a low profile" they say. What for? I do not know. :/

But well, I guess I can keep a low profile by not typing it out here, or saying it anymore (which is kinda a bit too late HAHA), I shall just post some photos I took during the last few days! More to come soon! I'll try to photoblog everyday :D or maybe start using livejournal haha!

Here goes! You might want to rest your eyes a little now and then :/

Posted and assigned

2008-02-17T22:28:00.002+08:00

Wow, it's been long since I blogged. Heck, I've been wanting to blog about a lot of things, I just didn't have the motivation to spend time and write it down here. But now I do. School's starting. I figured I should do something more productive instead of chatting and doing other shit on the Internet.

Listening to Ryuichi Sakamoto's "Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence" makes me want to cry. They're using this piece for "The Leap Years", that show that's coming up real soon. It's a really nice piece, go youtube it if you want to, when you are free (:

Posting results are out on Tuesday. God, please do with me as You please. Even for the appeal. I'll trust. Give me strength to trust in You. I'm so scared, I don't know what about. Maybe the future. Maybe, what I'm going to do for a living next time. I totally have no idea. I'm not a good long-term planner! Hopefully as I go on in life, and as I get more mature, and is able to think more long-term, I'll be able to decide on what I would like to do for a profession. But if I want to be a musician... I shall start taking theory soon.

Time to stop procrastinating. Time for discipline. Time to stop fooling around. Time to grow up.
Let's go, begin a new chapter, get on with life, on with this exciting journey whose future is yet to be written. Let's write this story.

Sudden impulses can cause confusion.

2008-01-29T20:44:00.000+08:00

You can't sleep at night. Tossing and turning in bed seems like a daily routine. You cry out for help, for warmth, for love. Talking about love, what is it? And what would you do for the love of your life?

Confusion takes a firmer grip on you as you ponder on that question. What confusion? The issue about who you love. Yes, no one knows the people on your mind, so neither do they know who you truly love. The thing is, you yourself don't know. That's where confusion places its firm and devastating grip on you. People don't know that you're confused, even though you tell them so. You hoped for a person to talk to. Maybe a friend whom you thought understood you. But this friend appears not to, and you get shot down, making the score, "Confusion: 2, You: 0"

You never win, until you get your head clear. Until you sit down and think about it. Until there are no distractions and other parties' ideas involved, but just your own, clear emotion and thoughts.

Oh screw this shit, I don't know why it's coming up again. I don't know why I was shouted at, what I did wrong, and stuff like that. I want to get my ass off the computer now. Bye.

2008-01-21T20:44:00.000+08:00

I hate listening to my parents talk. Whether it's normal chit chat, or a discussion. They always sound like their fighting. "It's our way of communication," my dad would say. But let's face the fact here. One party never wins. The other always does, with the final sentence being "Forget it, it's useless talking to you". The winning party will always shoot questions and statements that keeps emphasizing that it is correct, while the other party will try to defend itself, even though it's not wrong either. So the winner will look down on the loser and go, "you're wrong, I'm right. I win."(not literally okay!)

It is childish. Well, at least the winning party is. That's what it seems to me. Wanting always to be right. What's WRONG with NOT being right for once, or twice, maybe a couple more times? Oh well. I shall stop talking about this now and let it go as one of the problems that are at the back of my head.

Results are coming out on Thursday at 2PM, so it seems. I don't know what to put in for my choices. God tell me soon.

Struggles

2008-01-09T21:10:00.001+08:00

I am now thinking of whether to withdraw from MI, or not. I don't know why, but it's suddenly quite fun there. Considering the amount of people I have come to know, I feel great to be able to make new friends, step out of my comfort zone and explore the wilderness. It's been long since I left the SA crowd I would usually be engulfed in, and start mixing around with people from other schools. It feels rather good :/

School's been better. Time's been flying. I've never enjoyed school as much. Maybe in an environment where the teachers aren't so stressed, it's pretty enjoyable! I don't know, but all that is making me cry out for an answer to my question, whether to withdraw, or not to withdraw.

Alumni concert is coming up soon, on the 27th on January at 530PM at the Victoria Concert Hall. Tickets are at 12$, please get some from me! :D Lots of fun and exciting music are coming up!

loveyoumanymany.

When I think of you

2008-01-06T21:40:00.000+08:00

When I think of you;
it brings back memories of when we were happy, when we laughed without caring about what tomorrow will bring

When I think of you;
it reminds me of the times when we could just talk about nothing at all for hours and hours, enjoying every second of it

When I think of you;
your smile makes me want to see you face to face but not say anything at all, and just look deep into your eyes

When I think of you;
I want to eat ice cream.

When I think of you;
I want to go back to Taiwan and lose myself to the world there.

When I think of you;
I don't know what to say anymore

I dreamed of you the other night and I was angry at you. I don't know why. Maybe it's because of all the things that have been happening. I don't know.

let's go see stars.

Every END is another BEGINNING

2008-01-01T01:21:00.000+08:00

Hi readers. (: I'm baaaaaack!
Oh and it's 2008 already. Damn, I never wrote '2007' in the year 2007 for the last time of my life even though I told myself I would do it. Oh well!

Had a crazy time ever since I returned from Taiwan. Didn't sleep for 24 hours, had a really fun and exciting and make-me-feel-so-loved Christmas, a bike trip from Potong Pasir to East Coast to Changi and all the way back again, then had the watchnight service last year(a few hours, back, last year)! HAHA okay so much for the last year thing. I keep thinking school starts in a few hours after I kept going 'last year last year'.

Oh yes, on the 31st of December 2007, i dropped my one month and 19 days old phone into a bowl of beef noodles. Gosh I feel so pathetic I could cry. It was just plain retarded-ness! And when I arrived at the service center they just told me that they were closed for the day because it was New Year's Eve. How fabulous can that be. But that's okay, because there's still a spare Nokia phone that's going to last me for a few days, I CERTAINLY HOPE!

I felt like blogging about the happenings that have been happening lately but I suddenly can't remember anything I wanted to record down. Oh well, I'll just talk about the 'worries' and thoughts I have in mind now.

I can't take H1 math in JC. People are telling me History and Literature are too crazy, but I don't want to take Geography because I think I'll just suck at it. So now I don't know what subjects to take if I go to SAJC. If I don't, I plan to take up Multimedia and Design in Ngee Ann Poly or some other design course in Temasek Poly. I only have this much in plan so far. Not a very good long term planner, I know. But since I'd be helping with the designing for the youth retreat stuff, might as well? Haha.

Oh yes, I feel a zeal to draw more, like maybe God's using me for that. Which will be really cool. :D okay I'm feeling very tired now, a bit of a headache, maybe my phone poisoned the soup or something. HAHAHA. OKAY GOODNIGHT AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!! (:

2007-11-19T00:31:00.000+08:00

Life has been mad. It's been a while since Os have ended, and I'm spending my time not in a very wise manner. That's bad, no? Oh screw that. Have been spending the past week sleeping in the day and watching movies and other stuff at night. The first band camp that we survived without playing cards. It felt weird but fun nevertheless.

Had a hectic day yesterday. It seemed that I was going to be alone at the open house, but luckily I got to contact Xavier soon enough. Went down, visited the band room and collected the shoe bag, bought some food, stood around for the band performances, then left to eat with Tim. Headed off to church for some drumming! It wasn't bad, but I was very messy today. Maybe because of the accumulated fatigue, or I was just feeling crabby. I don't know. Anyway after drumming at church yesterday, went for alumni band prac. It didn't seem very fun because I couldn't play properly, but with Xanthus and Hong Kai screwing around, it was okay. Hope the one next week would get more exciting.

So, today afternoon after service, we went to somewhere in East Coast that had this "indoor" soccer pitch thing. It was mini, but I enjoyed myself. My legs felt great. Although I kept losing the ball and all, I'm starting to get my whatever back. Shall continue kicking the ball around! Went for dinner at BK. I wouldn't say their new Chicken BK was fantastic, but it filled me up. The first few bites were awesome, but the taste got boring after further gigantic munches. Oh well. Took a bus home, sat in front of the computer, bathed, dota-ed, blogged, slept.

Goodnight.

OOPS

2007-11-11T23:32:00.000+08:00

Gosh. It's been FOUR days since O's ended, and I've been having so much fun, forgetting your existence. OOPS. I shall write about the happenings of today...

Oh, Joe and Bryan came to stay over last night. We played a lot of PSP, watched Bruce Almighty, talked cock until 3, then finally went to sleep. We actually planned to wake up at 730 to swim, but only Joe was super enthusiastic about it. After a minute or two, I saw him slumping back into the mattress, so I just reset my alarm to 830, in time to prepare for service which started at 10. (:

Some things are better left unsaid, so I shall cut the part where it's better left unsaid. Service ended really early, and then the photo-taking was CHAOTIC. Everybody just squeezed into wherever space they could find on the stage, around the stage, so on and so forth. I believe many people didn't smile properly for the camera, but oh well.

Returned to church after lunch. Played some more PSP and cards, before going to big G's house for "Ben Thia's birthday party". Haha. It was a great time of fellowship, I would say. Drank too fast too. Had a pounding headache for a while. Made myself look like a bad drinker. Oh, what the hell. (OH, big G's cooking is BETTER THAN SEX HAHAHA)

Came home after that. Am dead tired because of the 5 hour sleep and crappy drinking skills. But, after coming home, it's made me think a lot. About why I get myself into situations such as the one that happened today. I realize that he's rather like me in his actions (well, I acted the same way in sec 3 i guess) and it just ticks people off. I really regret the stupid things I did last year that landed me in this "mess". At least God has been good and brought me through the year without having to ponder about that matter too much.. :/

Gotta move on when you gotta move on. Move on, Paul. Maybe a 'sorry' might help, but... you've got no balls to say it. So what better way than to move on... Shit, I'm starting to go emo all over again. Things that I see aren't exactly helping in this confusion that my mind is trying to identify. Right, off to bed I shall go. Goodnight people.

More gone, Less come

2007-10-31T17:57:00.000+08:00

Haha I seriously couldn't think of a title today. I'm bored to DEATH.
The boredom is killing me, since there's a break tomorrow and most of the papers coming up are easy ones (not that the ones before were that hard either but :/) , OH WELL. Just thought I'd blog since I'm so bored and I've been sitting in front of my computer for like three hours with only going to pee and getting some water to drink. Heroes episode 6 is taking forever to load and Mithra is pissed with Scrabulous on Facebook, so I'm sitting at home alone, talking to myself on this blog. HAHA, what a miserable slob.

The English papers were okay, because... question number 5 was 'Heroes'. I laughed when my eyes fell on those words. It was completely stupid, but I wrote it anyway. I think my story became very weird and out of point, so I might get a low mark for my paper 1. But my paper 2 should be fine, because it was fairly easy and I could find all the answers. The Math paper 1 was a breeze, but EugeneHar said it was hard.. :/ Maybe I'm too over-confident? Math paper 2 wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, but still, lost a few marks here and there. Haha.

Chinese was today. Today was Chinese. 今天考中文! It was quite easy, A LOT MORE EASIER THAN THE MID-YEAR PAPER! The questions for paper 2's comprehension was very straightforward, so lifting was commonplace. (: Everybody felt great after the paper, and I'm included. Went for lunch with Mits, Sheridan, Hamsan and Joel. Then came home, and found nobody and home, so I've been sitting here waiting for Heroes to load, and it's finally done!

So, bye to you readers, and until we meet again :D

Five gone, seven to go

2007-10-28T21:17:00.000+08:00

"The Additional Mathematics papers are OVER!
I didn't expect the papers to be so, well, easy. Either that, or effort has been paid off. Thank you Lord for giving me a clear mind during those papers!

I realized that the reason I started to blog again was to help my English essay writing, but it seems that this reason was forgotten when panic took over my mind. Therefore, now calm, I shall take half an hour a day doing some narrative essays taking those 'one word questions' out of past papers or whatever I am able to find."

That were the words that I typed at around 5P.M five days ago. Goodness. Procrastination about blogging! It's supposed to help my English, no? Oh well. I just realized tomorrow is the day for my English papers. How funny. I shall write an essay on "Flight", the one word essay question from the 2004 paper.

Flight
It was a sunny afternoon as he ascended into the sky from the roof of his house. The fact that he could do such a thing was still so unbelievable to he himself. Shielding his eyes from the sun, he glided through the air without being afraid of being seen. Scott was tall with hazel brown eyes, and although he looked weak, he was packed with a punch. Scott had little friends in school, and ever since he discovered his ability to fly, he withdrew even more. Not that he didn't want to show everyone his ability, but, something happened to him just a few days after his amazing discovery...

A man that he has never seen before came out of nowhere shouting his name while he was on his way to school. The next thing he remembered was waking up in his bed, dressed in the same clothes he was wearing the day before. This event has been troubling him ever since and he kept wondering if he should do something about it...

Soaring through the clouds, he reached the stratosphere, where the planes would be flying through. "Wow! So there ARE others like me!" a cheerful voice sang out in his mind. "What the..." Scott spun around in surprise. "No, it's impossible," he thought, "how can anyone talk to me when I'm up HERE?" He freaked out when he heard laughing in his head.

"Hi, my name is Remy! I have an ability just like you do. I can speak to people through my mind, hear their thoughts and find them just by concentrating on a face. Pretty cool huh?"

"But how do you know that I'm..." Scott started to think in reply when he saw a plane behind him. "Oh." He had waited for the plane to fly past before ascending even higher into the stratosphere. But apparently, his timing was off.

"Haha, don't freak out. I heard your thoughts about the weird man that 'abducted' you as you were waiting for the plane to pass. I was a victim as well... and I'm flying here to find him."

Scott suddenly felt afraid of his powers. All the things that have been happening, all the things that he had seen through his journeys in the air brought him to a shocking reality. The word 'abducted' rang in his head. Someone knew about him and his ability! "I've tracked the man down and he is staying 27 miles west of where you live. Meet me at the airport at 5P.M. I'll contact you by thought, okay? We'll bring him down together." "But..." Scott started, then stopped. He realized the danger of this 'mission', and how the man who had abducted him and Remy could be such a sick psycho. But he had to find out who the man was and why he abducted them.

At 5P.M, Scott stood at the airport with a sign that had simply four letters on it : "REMY". Remy stood out among the crowd, he was even taller then Scott, but looked like a total disaster. His hair was blond and unkempt, and he looked like a mess. "I thought I said I'll contact you by thought. Having you holding the sign here doesn't make it very exciting for find you," Remy started as he came up beside Scott. "I've got a gun, and I think that'd be all we need. Let's go there now."

Scott was not very sure about what he wanted to do, whether to go with Remy or let Remy settle it alone, but he was determined to find this man and settle the issue once and for all. As they walked out of the airport, they looked for a secluded spot where into the sky they flew, in the direction that Remy guided him to fly.

They reached the old shack within minutes, and Scott started to feel scared. "Don't worry, just follow me quietly." Remy whispered, "I'm sure that he's inside." As Remy entered the dark shack, he stopped, turned around and gave the most evil smile that Scott has ever seen. That was the last thing Scott saw before blacking out.

He woke up groggy, hearing voices which were familiar. It seemed obvious that Remy, if that even is his real name, was working with the weird man. Scott found his wrist and legs tied up, his mouth gagged, and his head spinning. "Quick Gabe, take his brain apart so we can each have a bit of his tissue, and then we'll both be able to fly!" Both of the men laughed loudly. Scott did not dare to think, for he knew both of them would be hearing his thoughts if he tried to plan an escape. But without a plan, how was he going to get away?

As Gabe approached Scott, he held up shiny cutting tools that were used for surgery. Scott felt sick right down to his stomach, but he was prepared to respond to whatever may come. As Gabe readied the tools, Remy pointed the gun at Scott and slowly pulled the trigger...

"BANG!" The bullet left its chamber as Scott mustered all his strength and pushed himself into the air, straight at Gabe. He lunged into Gabe's stomach, as the bullet missed his legs by mere inches. Recovering from his shock, Remy fired madly at where he thought Scott was. But in front of him, his evil counter-part lay there with several bullet wounds in his chest. Horrified by the terrible mistake that he has made, Remy ran out of the shack screaming and swearing to kill Scott if he was found. Suddenly, Scott flew right into him from the back and Remy fell forward, the gun flying forward as it pointed itself at Remy.

Another gunshot was heard in that secluded area. This time, a bullet was lodged into Remy's brain, and Scott simply stood there in a daze. He quickly flew home, and neither his powers nor the incident was spoken about to anyone. As years past, the memories of the horrific incident went away, and he continued to enjoy the freedom of soaring the skies. But he was never going to reply to a stranger through his thoughts, ever again.

OKAY THAT'S THE END OF THE STORY. GOSH IT'S SO LONG I THINK THE EXAMINER WILL GET BORED OF IT. AHHAHAHA.
edit: I made a word count on Microsoft Word, and it turned out to be 1,042 words long. -_-

Anyway, thanks for all the birthday wishes, people! Thanks for the surprise yesterday too (:

2007-09-29T22:54:00.000+08:00

I won't be updating until after Os. Same for links. See you readers after 7th November.

Insecurity

2007-09-23T21:45:00.000+08:00

I feel so insecure right now. Just thinking over and over again, since I started to walk out of church today. Life is a mess, especially when you're getting the kind of results I am getting for prelims. I never realized it, but all along I've been thinking that a pass would be good enough. Can someone please shoot me for thinking that?

I am feeling so demoralized right now because there is absolutely no confidence to get that target of 11, let alone be able to even get to a JC. Gosh. I don't know if I can hang on anymore, till it's over. I know I'm going to do shit for Os. No matter how hard I study. Then again, the words "Ultimately, the results are what God has given us" hit me and I get so confused. I really don't know what God wants me to do - go to a JC, or take the music road, or what? I need to bang my head on the wall till I get amnesia or something, to forget all these.

And right now, I should just stop worrying my ass off because it's not the right time for it. I have nothing to worry about, because I have everything I need. I need some motivation from friends though.

And friend, if you're reading this, my hands are getting burned by the rope and I am slipping. I don't know how much longer I can hang on. ):

I'm dying and I can't live without you again..

Screwed

2007-09-21T21:31:00.000+08:00

My results are TEH SHIT. No, not like, the 'good' shit, but, SHIT. How come? See for yourself.

English: B4
Chinese: B4
EMath: C5
AMath: F9
Science (Physics/Chemistry): B4
Combined Humanities (SS/History): D7
Geography: C6

Yeah, so if you do the Math, you will find that my L1R5 is 30 and my L1R4 is 23. Sad uhh. I had nothing close to an A grade, as you can see from above. Gosh, I wonder how I'll even get myself into the first three months of JC, or even do well enough to apply for SAJC by merit. I feel like a worthless piece of shit getting flushed down the toilet. "Pathetic", Daphne Ang would say. Well, at least I passed my Geography, but she'd go, "No one is studying for a pass at the O Levels!". Sure, but I feel like failing everything. The "I can do it!" feeling has left. ):

Many people tell me that it's God's plan, so I'm gonna trust that He has the plans to prosper me, and not to harm me. But then, I go around back to where I left my doubtful self - What am I going to do when I grow up? What are my goals in life? What am I aiming for? I wish these stupid worries would just leave me alone.

Oh yes, please take note of my Chinese grade. WHAT A DISGRACE.

Just need to find that motivation to study.
"Je vous manque, vraiment."

6, 8, 12

2007-09-16T21:59:00.000+08:00

There's nothing much to rant about, and nothing that anybody would understand, except Him.

I really want to rahh it away, but I am too late and who knows, maybe this will continue on. But God, You take care of it. I'mma study.

Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?
In the middle of the night when you're awake,
Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever reminisce?
I can't believe in nothing like this
I know it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away

Do you ever ask about me?
Do your friends still tell you what to do?
Every time the phone rings,
Do you wish it was me calling you?
Do you still feel the same?
Or has time put out the flame?
I miss you
Is everything okay?

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away

It's hard enough just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
And where is the good in goodbye?
Tell me why, tell me why

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away...

Photos

2007-09-16T21:28:00.000+08:00

SORRY PEOPLE, THE RESOLUTION'S A BIT LARGE. I MIGHT CHANGE IT ANOTHER DAY, BUT IT'LL HAVE TO DO FOR NOW. (:

I wonder what they did at the chalet?

Uhh...

See, horny people are the happiest! :D

MARCUS AHHAHA.

MARLON!

CHIA LUCK KOON!

Spastic Feng, Tim and I

Marah is soooooo into kissing people. O_O

Eugene, we all know you're gay, but TIM?!

SPASMS!

Haha, Geeky Dom.

MOOOOOOOOOOON!

Brenna the DAWG! (:

Happy people (:

VICTOR CHONG XIANG YONG!

caspar and, tim? :/

Robocop, Taiwanese bastard, GAY. HAHA :D

MITS AND HIS 46$ PULLOVER/CARDIGAN THING (:

They're happy. (:

DOM AND PAUL!

Lookie here.

Lookie there! :D

CHIPMUNK.

"What happen?"

Haoming!

Where's Hamsan?

CHEE HWEE!

BRUDDER FROM ANOTHER MUDDER.

SASI!

MARCUS AND HIS ZARA SHIT. :D

GUAI LAN.

BITCH. HAHAHA.

The freakingshly tall SEC ONE.

SEC FOUR 07. Whats Arthur doing there -_-

Senior Horn Section 07!

Us with the really annoying kid who is uber cute, JONATHAN!

MICKEY MOUSE.

RANDOM GROUP :D

Aaron Ang!

CHEN MITS PAUL.

Rahh.

2007-09-15T21:53:00.000+08:00

I don't want to type much today, because I want to sleep soon. Have to wake up early tomorrow since I'm drumming. Photos will come at a later date too, so please be patient.

I cried myself to sleep last night, cried in my sleep (I think), and woke up crying.

Tuition, lunch ALONE, church for rehearsal, home, dinner, TEEVEE, blog, bed.

That's all. Bye.

"Who needs loads of friends, when you've got me?"
I guess I do, now, since I don't have you there anymore...

Joy and Grief

2007-09-15T01:07:00.000+08:00

It was a great day today. Well, technically yesterday, but whatever. I'll screw the part about going to school for the MCQ papers which I don't really know if I'm going to do well in or not. Can't really be bothered about that right now. So, on to the fun parts! (:

After the papers, I came home and changed into my super hot outfit. Yeah, literally super hot. So I didn't wear the jacket until it was a little cooler around, haha. Met up with Wei Cheah, Chen Lin, Dom, Mithra, Wei Cheah and Dom's friend, Sasi, Ben Thia, Eugene Low and Xavier. The original plan was to go play pool, but because it took Sasi forever to get to wherever we were meeting, we went off to THE CATHAY first to walk around. Went into Gramophone and Mithra started to introduce the Macintosh things to me, telling me about it's various functions and features and so on. Sasi finally came, and we went on to Snookerium at Paradiz Center, but they wanted to check everyone's IC so we had to go somewhere else. Ended up in Pool Junction, where the tables and cues and balls are FANTASTIC. Just that they charge a little too much. Oh well, we had quite a lot of people anyway, so that was okay.

After a really really short hour of pool (quite sadly, SASI WE FORGIVE YOU OKAY (: ) , we went off to TOPMAN at Wisma to get Mithra's cardigan/pullover thing. Uhh, and they had iMacs there, so Dzul and I (he joined us after we finished pool) started playing the games on the computer. Haha! It was so retarded, we couldn't connect to each other! And well, after the lesson by Mithra, I knew how to navigate my way around the Mac for quite a bit. Thanks Mits! :D Yeah, so he got everything ready and we went off, walking to Negara Hotel!

On the way, we bought Old Chang Kee. Hahaha. And then...
"Eh, why the five-star hotel like that one! They too poor to paint the building ah?" asked Dominic. The building really looked like an old building, but when we went inside, it was WHEEEEE. Haha. The interior design wasn't as bad as it looked on the outside (which was pretty plain and crappy looking). Oh well, when we went in, we got so excited that we started to camwhore, which was only the beginning of the night...

Thanks to Joel for making that video. "Go Taiwan!" HAHA. Mr G. was pretty amazed and wondering why you made that random sentence, but oh well, I suppose he knows now. Haha! I'll really miss you, kiddo. The introduction was okay, but when it came to the speeches, there my picture hung on the screen, with a thought bubble which said, "Speeches???" Gosh, I look so retarded there! Thank you, whoever did that. It made the picture look like it was staring at whoever was standing up there to give the speech. After which, the food was pretty good, and Sasi totally dug in to the beef. So did Hamsan! Hahahahaha, IT WAS HILARIOUS. Well done, Indian people. :D

The games, oh boy, the games were the best. Genius! The first game was too fantastic that it didn't have a name, says Brenna. 6 people get called up, and for different scenarios. The first one was 5 buckets of water and 1 of ice. We were supposed to guess who had themselves caught in the real situation. The second scenario was the box with mealworms. Marcus got his hand in them and gosh, HE TOUCHED JOEL WITH HIS HAND AFTER THAT! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay, then the third one, 5 glasses of water, and 1 of vinegar. Dzul was lucky and got the vinegar, and he took ONE BIG SIP. Wow, kudos to him. Oh the last one, I LOVE. Wasabi in bread. Totally felt like puking, but NO! I ate the half I was supposed to.
"EAT THE WHOLE BREAD!"
"GO TAIWAN!!"
"EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT!!!!"
Those were the kind of things I heard when I started to munch away. It was pretty obvious that only Aaron didn't get the Wasabi, because his expression was too plain, and his bread wasn't, well, filled with green stuff. So Joel added spice into the ending and went, "It's not fun that he didn't get the wasabi, so he'll get the forfeit!" Haha, so Aaron had to eat lime. Joel, you're a really good emcee. (:

I won't go into details of the second game, but it was mainly about our observation skills and stuff. I wanted to continue to eat after the first game though, but the wasabi really burnt my brain and stomach! Oh, Marcus kinda screwed up the little bottle of salt, and since he overspilled it, he gathered all he could and put it in his teacup. Then, he poured everything into Joel's drink! HAHAHA. "Retribution", he calls it. So when Joel came to have a drink, he nearly spat it out. Hohoho. Umm. That was pretty much it. The end. Then the camwhoring started! Haha, I went around giving cards first, then spamming my camera with photos. I guess I really enjoyed it. Heh. Like, taking photos with almost everyone! :D I'm sure this will stay in my head for a really, long, time.

THANK YOU BAND!! I'LL MISS YOU GUYS LIKE SHIT!

Yup, that's pretty much, the joy. Grief comes in at every departure of something. Well, at least there was joy.. wasn't there? (: I'll post some photos another day, am UBER TIRED NOW.
"There has to be an end to the good things!"

So I guess this is where the good things end,
The happy memories shoved into my hand
With the other asking for more,
I hear the sound of happiness closing the door
It's time to say goodbye.
Goodbye hurts, sometimes.

You once told me not to give up
A friendship so special, I don't know where to start
It began with a happy joyous greeting and wish,
but is ending with a sad, little horrendous... what?
Seems then that you were the one holding on,
but now I'm the one trying to pull you up
You slip away ever so slowly,
I'd really break, if you fall away wholly

je vous manque, ami.
pourquoi....?

Sorry

2007-09-13T17:24:00.000+08:00

I am really, really sorry. Like, sorry sorry sorry.

Today is poop. Studied at church, alone. It seems like me studying or not will still end up as, NOT studying at all, in someone's eyes. Oh well.

I don't know what I'm going to wear for band dinner, and I ain't done with the cards. I'm not a very happy person today, because shit happens. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Bye.

...

2007-09-12T21:23:00.000+08:00

I am SO going to buy a MACbook since Warcraft III is compatible with it. That'd be cool enough, like, although I'm quite bored of Warcraft altogether. HAHA. Oh well, guess I'd have to find other games that are compatible with the Mac. (:

Went shopping for band dinner clothes with Mithra, Thia, Chen and Dominic. I couldn't find anything, oh sad me. Oh, there's pepper lunch express at the food junction there! :D Met little friend for dinner, then we parted because she left for Japanese class while I thought I was gonna follow the group again when they just disappeared. So, I went home.

Had dinner at home actually, because I watch my little friend eat. Wasn't very hungry then. Reached home at around six, then had dinner while mom went to church. Was watching epic movie when suddenly, THE BUILDING STARTED SHAKING. Like, WOAH. Haha. I didn't know whether I should hide under the table or something, but I was quite shocked! Turns out that Indonesia was attacked by an earthquake of 8.5 on the Richter Scale. Many people freaked out, I guess.

Yeah, so after that I was writing cards when mom came home super early. It turned out that no one went to church for the prayer meeting. Oh well. Then, like. I don't know what happened. We just got pissed at each other. Poop. And, fuck.

Goodnight world.

sometimes we don't see the answers that we are looking for when they are just right in front of us.

Running after Time

2007-09-11T21:44:00.000+08:00

Okay, I went to cut my hair today. I don't know why nobody feels like I did. GOSH. Hahaha. Oh well, Mithra came over today in the late morning, and took Spawn and The Gods Must Be Crazy from my computer. I can't believe my MP3 charger could actually work as a power source for his hard drive. Wow. Then we were playing around with Google Earth's flight simulator, IT WAS RETARDED TO THE MAX PLEASE. Crash and crash and crash. Hoho.

Waited half an hour for Albert to cut my hair. There were like, so many people. And we saw Dominic there too! He looked so funny without waxing his hair and all, it's like, a really really messy explosion in his hair! :D Got the haircut, then headed for church.

"Yo, I cut my hair!"
"You did?"
"-_-"
HAHA. That was the conversation that started my study hours at church today. Oh well, I suppose I'll ask Albert to cut MORE next time! Yeah, so I sat there in the library doing maths (AGAIN) from like, 3 plus to 6. Kah Jun was sooooooo desperate for food that he took most of the Pringles! Haha, a food monster he is, I'm telling you. Oh, Seto got me a lollipop. SO NICE RIGHT! I wonder if SOMEBODY is jealous, HOHO. Yeah well, then went out to eat dinner with Seto because we were gonna do the one hour prayer thing, so...

I'm surprised that even though I felt like it was out of obligation at first, I really enjoyed the prayer session. Maybe it was because it wasn't those really formal types and I really just felt connection with God, it was so awesome! The feeling is really great. Gosh, I wish I could do that more, like, make it a habit. I feel like a hypocrite :/

That's it for today, come back tomorrow for more EXCITING shit from me (:

I'll throw my life upon all that You are
'Cause I know you gave Your life for me
When all else fades my soul will dance with You
Where the love lasts forever.

seeyou very very soon! :D

Confession

2007-09-08T22:57:00.001+08:00

I wish to confess. I have been taking lots of things for granted, and I can't believe myself, how stupid I am to have to go through these ideas of things that do not exist/is not happening! The other side of me just keeps telling me all these lies, making me a miserable person. Okay, here goes.

1. I tell myself that I am not loved when, God is there. Like, how can I not be loved when God is there?! And He's put so many people that love me around me, just that I am not sensitive enough to feel that. Or am I just so foolish that I don't want to accept what I am given?

2. I tell myself that I am cold, and lonely. Think about the homeless ones and those that are out there with no shelter, no food, no love. With NOTHING. If you're cold and lonely, what are they? You have a house, loving parents that care for you, and even though you can't cope with them sometimes, for goodness' sake, please stop feeling cold and lonely!

3. Talking about being lonely, I tell myself the lie that makes me the most miserable person in the world : I HAVE NO FRIENDS. I tell myself that because I feel so, rejected? But, in reality, do I? I mean, God has put so many people around me, and I have been the one who has been doing the rejecting. I reject people whom I think I am not good enough for, or not good enough for me. And why is that? Since when was I too good for anyone..?

4. Do I really have to feel that way whenever I see her? Like, gosh, it's been AGES. And yet, there's this little tinge that tells me I want to relive the past or something, change it, so I could feel all better. Well, like what? Feel better from...? What do I intend to change anyway? I'm not ready for anything yet, and I'll never be, until at least, I settle down from O's. Oh well, my Rubik's Cube is soooo messed up and I forgot the solution, which I won't be able to find in a long, long time.

Lastly, a very big SORRY for not talking to you all day, little friend. I've been trying to find some solitude, some quietness, but even in my sleep, I wasn't peaceful. A little solitude made me feel better somewhat, I hope you understand..

LITTLE MUFFIN ATE HIMSELF AND FLEW HOME, SINGING THE SAD SONG.

More than Words

2007-09-07T22:42:00.000+08:00

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Now that I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Well, I suppose two movies in a day was a killer for me. But I enjoyed them nonetheless (: I'm sure I can find some ways to revive me and keep me going. It started off with breakfast and Long John's. Didn't eat much, 'cause we weren't hungry, but got to TEACH my little friend the ways to solving a Rubik's cube. Haha! Mm, then took a bus from PS to Cineleisure. Watched No Reservations. It was.. draggy and, well, the story wasn't really clear. But I enjoyed it. Haha! Two little people all the way at the back, with like ten other people in a really large theater. After which, sadly, we had to part. It was only a short few hours, but I enjoyed it. Thank you friend! (:

After that, went to meet Mithra and Chen at THE Cathay. Watched Ratatouille. Was hilarious and I really enjoyed it because of all the retarded-ness and stuff going on. Oh, I really think Remy's cool, and Linguini is SO FUNNY. They saved each other's asses, and gosh, I'd wish for a pet like that. Was treated to TWO HOURS of LAN after the movie! Because with one ticket stub, we could play TWO HOURS for 3.50$! So, with me totally broke, I turned to Mithra and he went, 'Okay I'll treat you'. :D Thanks man!

We learned that his mother didn't like black, and uhh, he asked me to keep his black jacket for him because he didn't want his mother to see the black jacket he bought :/ So, haha, I guess I'm returning the favor of treating me LAN! (:

Just came home from the Jan Johnson talk on "Transformation of the Soul". Shall start putting into practice the "You do the connecting, and let God do the perfecting" thing. Haha! Feels great when you dwell in His presence, don't it? Sure is great.

I only realize that it is too late when
I wish I did more when I could have
I could never find a chance to do it again
So a sad song I write
And sing with my might
But I feel the tingle of my heart
It says, "Oh, so vain"
Gosh, why don't I see,
When the Lord is with me and for me,
When I have everything I need?

):

Spinning Rain

2007-09-03T21:18:00.000+08:00

Ah, the sweet feeling of rain dropping down on your being. It is a sad morning for you because you miss out on the day's activities (which is supposed to be full of excitement and joy and laughter and, enjoyment) . Deprived of this joy that you have been longing for almost a month, or two, maybe quite a while, you sulk and pout in the replaced activities that have been planned for you. The rain starts falling as you try to force a smile on your face. It hurts somewhere inside, as the issues of yesterday start to haunt you once again. "Why can't I shake it off once and for all?!" you asked in frustration.

Getting on with the replacement activities did not please you at all. Still sulking, you sit in front of the computer, searching for solutions of something that you have messed up. Miraculously, you find it! It delights you in many ways, and you mess up and solve the problems again and again. But you do not always come to the perfect solution. There might be something wrong, something out of place and you just do not know what to do. From this simple illustration of a Rubik's Cube, you realize something about life.

Life is like a Rubik's Cube in it's own way. You get all messed up. You solve your problems with a standard solution, but not always ending up solving them correctly. You would have to improvise to get them solved. And what's more? There is more than one standard solution. So, in solving life's confusing problems, the standard solution would be looking to God for help. But without you doing your best, how do you expect Him to do the rest? Many a times do we take Him for granted, and gosh, do we not feel ashamed about it??

When will you awake from your folly?

vous manque vraiment, ami.

Funny.

2007-09-02T23:16:00.000+08:00

Funny things happen. They happen for a reason. They teach us something, something we do not know, or have not realized. But oh well, they're funny. In a funny way. This is referring to the happenings that took place yesterday, and although I had as big a shock as my friend did, I certainly did not suffer an aftermath. My mother seems to be able to understand why my friend felt that way though, so I trust her. Oh well, I guess the past should be put behind us. STOP WORRYING! (:

I stayed in church to study after lunch today. Did a little AMaths, but it was not as productive as I hoped. Joe and I were playing pictionary, then hangman, then all sorts of funny games on the whiteboard of the the conference room. And then, spell as many words as you can from "PLANET". It was fun, but, what happened to studying.

Ah, then went to Plaza Singapura to shop with MA, COUSIN, and uhh, Anna. Ha. I went because of the fried mars bars which I have not tasted for so long. And then, we walked around, with them shopping and me just tagging along. Haha. Bought a Rubik's Cube in the end, solved it ONCE, then totally screwed it up again. I seriously have no sense of logical direction and I suck at that. Now I feel so, crap. I don't know why. It's just, a funny phenomenon. Goodness, I feel worse than shit, like rubbish.

Guess I will not be able to go out tomorrow then. Sorry friend. ):

2007-08-30T21:57:00.000+08:00

Prelims are finally taking a break. For a week, before it continues. I totally screwed the AMath paper up today. Oh well, proves that linear law comes out even for paper 1. I could have done so much better for Geog 2 if I had studied a little more, slept a little less, and grew interest in the subject earlier. Ah, so little confidence in myself for today's papers. Actually, come to think of it, none of my papers are gonna do well. Not that I expect them to, now, when I start thinking of everything in my mind again. Oh boy.

Anyway, I went to Orchard's Crystal Jade for lunch today. Mom's friend gave us a treat. Went to Isetan and got like, 200$+ worth of goods. Uhh, I got my pens, and... that's about it. Gosh, it's been boring. Oh! I got a letter, hoho.

So yes, just hanging on till it's all over. Until I find something more exciting to write about, I'll be chilling off in the week. (:

The winds blow in my face
As the thunder roars in my place
I asked for a little piece of comfort
But was pretty much in vain
I went through all the pain
And for what?
So I could feel better.

Poop.

2007-08-28T20:48:00.000+08:00

Science practical was rubbish today. Everyone else got a positive gradient while I had a negative one for the Physics graph. Chemistry was, poop. Haha! Oh well, that's that. Goodbye to my As for Science, but Hello to the B/C/D/E/F! Hoho. I'm pretty much settled for History I hope. Tomorrow and the day after tomorrow would be madness. GEOGRAPHY 2 + AMATHS 1. Whooopee doo!

Oh, after the practical today, Mithra was going, "I have a discount for Famous AH-MOOS cookies! Going to Toa Payoh. Woohoo!"
"A-MOS," I corrected him. Gosh, it's so funny the way he pronounces it. (: And then, Eugene and I PANG SEH-ED him on the way, like... we walked into the MRT station. I wasn't sure where we were going, to Sengkang for cheap good meals or to Toa Payoh for his cookies, but we walked towards the entrance anyway. I was about to ask where we were going when Eugene tapped. So there, we went in. And then, we just suddenly didn't want to go anymore. -_-" So poor Mithra said, "Okay then, I'll just go tell the uncle that I left something in school and ask him to let me out". So he did, and I felt really bad, like a bastard. :/

Came home, watched some HongKong movie with mom on teevee, studied History and ate, now HERE. And I was browsing through my archives just now and realized that I don't remember about a lot of the 'she' that was mentioned in my posts. Great, isn't it? But I'm dying to find out who I was writing about, hurr. Anyway, I found myself writing pretty good but, retarded emo poems. I should start that again (: Here's a re-post on the poem I put up like last year.

I sat in the rain
of a lonely night
There's load of pain
But there's no light
I feel my life breaking down
Like the tearing of a wedding gown
I ran along the slippery road
I slipped and fell
Oh, with the rain so cold
I wish I had to strength to tell
You that I wasn't well
You wouldn't really care anyway
But I kept waiting,
Day by day
Until the moment I had breathed my last
You said,
"Sorry to have made you wait"
Well, it was too late
I had already arrived
At heaven's gate..

Regret

2007-08-27T18:53:00.000+08:00

"Will I ever be able to undo what I have done?" You ask yourself that countless times. You feel stupid as you look back at the past year, realizing all your mistakes and wishing you could go back in time to undo them, change the future, make your life less miserable. You blame yourself for everything, not understanding what you did, although you are sure of being the culprit. This deep sense of regret brings you not shame, but loneliness.

"What exactly did I do?" There is no answer. You don't find it anywhere. It makes you miserable. "Damn it," you say, "why do I have to make that stupid mistake? Can people see what I am now, instead of what's of the past?" No one hears you, as all your friendships that used to be, seems now totally, fallacious. It sounds ridiculous, but it might be true. Fallacious means "intended to deceive". The more you think about it, the more you feel that it is a stupid idea. Why would anyone want to make you a close friend and then make you feel lousy? That's just... crap.

I don't want to write this anymore.

Type this with your eyes closed. (Is it really that hard to type that sentence without opening your eyes? -_-)

PANIC

2007-08-26T20:08:00.000+08:00

OH MY GAWD.
I LOST MY NOTES ON WAVES.
I AM SO GOING TO FAIL PHYSICS (NOT).
Waves shouldn't be too hard a topic, I hope. Just a few little formulas along with some definitions to learn. And goodness, there's electromagnetic spectrum. I didn't attend the lesson because I was sick or something, so I didn't get those notes at all. I really should go study.

Just had chili and black pepper crab for dinner. I'm not really full, because, well, it isn't filling enough. I still have to cover those little topics. OOH, THERE'S ROTI PRATA NOW.
Maybe I'll go study after eating. Hahaha. Okay, there's actually nothing much to say today. There was baptism service, and usual funny things happened :D So, after that was jamming with DWong and Joel Seet and Angel? There were other people but they all left halfway and it ended up with the rest of us. BECKY just sat there playing with the Rubik's Cube that was in horrible condition (It isn't my fault!). Oh well, they were heading to Dhoby to eat FRIED MARS BARS. I am so uber jealous and I wish I tagged along. Oh well, at least I wouldn't have to feel all guilty while munching away at the sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet chocolate. Hehe.

I didn't do much at home, just bathed, read through the things I wasn't sure of, and blogged. Then some Taiwanese friends of my parents came, like because they were visiting. That explains the chili and black pepper crabs :D THANK YOU TAIWANESE PEOPLE! Okay, off to my paper prata and then to hunt electromagnetic spectrums down and hang them on the walls of my brain. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

ne pas s'inquiéter, ami! (:

Strange yet warm

2007-08-25T22:27:00.000+08:00

Has there ever been a day where you felt weird, or out of place? Be it at work, at school or anywhere else for that matter. You don't understand why things are the way they are. It bothers you a lot, as not being in the right place makes you feel frustrated. Even worse, LONELY. People see you in a different way when you get to know them well. When you don't, well, that's another thing and it's the one that makes you feel left out. Not wanting to try being more outgoing and instead play the safe road so that people don't find you 'weird-er', you do less to get to know them better.

For me, it started off with the tuition class. I stepped in, late, again. Well, what can I do when I was caught up with the band's Last Parade Ceremony at school? I really miss those kids, my batch. Gosh, all the wonderful times we shared. But when I stepped into that room for physics, my mind went blank. It was first directed at the looks I received. Then the giggles. I didn't understand what was directed at me, both emotionally and, impression-wise. Sitting down, I became aware of my surroundings, forgetting all the emotion I had felt earlier on. I allowed the 'out of place' feeling to slip in around me, making me its host for manifestation. I tried to shake it off, because I know it didn't have to be there. In the end I won, but I wasn't convinced by my own little victory.

After the class, favours were asked of me. Since I had a bicycle anyway. That didn't make me know anybody better, just maybe, a good impression, I absolutely doubt. Studying more physics wasn't a choice I wanted to make, but since the paper was on Monday, I might as well pin some more facts to my brain, and make sure they stay there. Sadly enough, I only had a ten-years-series with me, so I didn't make much of time I had. Lots of laughs and joy though, was shared at the same moment. Between a few people, I wondered how many I really mattered to. But right there at that moment, I felt the strange warmth hold and cuddle me. It was something I had longed for since a long time back. I'm glad I felt it today. Thank you, people. (:

i just wish i could feel it everywhere i went.
vous manque.

Your Eyes

2007-08-24T18:40:00.000+08:00

Your eyes, as we said our goodbyes
Can't get them out of my mind, and I find I can't hide from your eyes
The ones that took my by suprise the night you came into my life
Where there's moonlight I see your eyes
How'd I let you slip away, when I'm longing so to hold you?
Now I'd die for one more day
'Cause there's something I should have told you
Yes there's something I should have told you
When I looked into your eyes
Why does distance make us wise?
You were the song all along
And before this song dies
I should tell you, I should tell you
I have always loved you
You can see it in my eyes
MIMI~

Whooo.

2007-08-22T23:00:00.000+08:00

YO, WAZZZZZZZZZZUP.
my english papers have ceased, thus the break yesterday. well, it wasn't really the reason why i didn't blog, but i was too tired, or too busy. gosh, i can't remember what i was doing yesterday! i think i slept in the afternoon after i came home from school. skipped lunch AGAIN. bad bad bad. woke up after weird dreams to eat and study. HA, i can't remember studying actually. it was more of a 'panic-read' thing. i couldn't get anything into my head! the social studies text was too much for me and panic. so i took out my emaths tys and went through formulae, which.. didn't really help in today's paper anyway. GOODNESS.
oh and guess what, when i was applying my nose spray, i couldn't spray it properly so i kinda poured it down my nose and it went into my throat pipe. HAHAHA.

okay, so yes, thank God that the poison didn't kill me, or else someone would be sooooo uber sadded! :D the emaths paper today wasn't that bad. i mean, i used to leave out a hell lot more questions. and then, the social studies was just crap. like, pure crap. if it isn't crap, i don't know what is. i've never NOT studied for a paper like that before, so i kinda scared myself to shit. haha. then the essay - oh gosh, i really should have looked more carefully while glancing through my text - i couldn't remember all my points! that really sucks, but i hope i can manage a pass, so my history can at least pull the combined humanities up to a B3.

after the crappy papers, mithra was whining about not wanting to go home because of not having a computer at home, because of his grandma's nagging, and all sorts of reasons. so pitying him, i went to dhoby for what, we had no idea, but we got on the train anyway. met eugene HAR who was going for his amaths paper! haha. wonder how he did. umm so, we embarked on our journey to dhoby ghaut! met saranian, our favourite indian senior. (: he was meeting his poly friends to study math, so i kept going "alright! can we tag along?" in the end, his friends came quite a bit after we arrived and settled down at CARL'S JUNIOR. like, can you believe two indians sitting at carl's junior?! oh, mithra and i bough beer battered fish, and we purposely sat at the table which has the "NO OUTSIDE FOOD AND DRINKS ALLOWED" sign. hoho, typical SA bastards.

shortly after, the fat lady came and shoo-ed us away. then we're like "okayokay we won't eat anymore" but we finished the damn thing after that. HAHA. and gosh, for the whole time we sat there, we did nothing but talk cock, look at girls and listening to mithra say "i'm gonna beat the next tall person that walks past". goodness, it was hilarious, a great way to reduce exam stress. but mom called and went "come home in 30 minutes, i've got something to discuss with you", so i went home, and it was about tuition. yes, tuition which i haven't been attending for what, the past month? mom had arranged for tuition from 8-10, so i slept after bathing, woke up, and headed towards bishan.

it was okay, but i realised something as i walked home :
I DID NOT STUDY GEOGRAPHY TODAY.
goodness, a day wasted! even though i have no paper tomorrow, i can't afford to study geog because emaths and CHEMISTRY papers 2 are there, waiting to shoot me down. so, i'd bet daphne is there to shoot me down after the results are out too, huh. FABULOUS (:

okay, it's 12:13AM now, so i'm going to sleep.
good mornight, world.

where are the cupcakes hiding?

Left Out

2007-08-20T19:08:00.000+08:00

You were once part of them. An organization, a company, something that was close to you in one way or another. You retire, well, not really, but you leave without leaving, a memory, something that stays but is not there. You become a something like a predecessor. When you do return to that company or organization you were from though, people don't seem to know you anymore. They treat you like you would treat your parents' friends. An outsider that you should show respect to. You think, "but I don't even know that person, and they know me!" Yeah right. Dream on, kiddo.

The truth is, they think that way too. They would wonder, "Who's that? We don't even know him anymore. Why is he trying to mix with us, shouldn't he go find his friends or something?" Little did they know, you have no other friends. Well, not many, because most of them are only acquaintances. "Great," you laugh at yourself, "I've been replaced. Come to think of it, I don't seem to have had friends at all..." And then you feel solitude creeping in again. "Well, at least I put that aside and did something productive today." But that is not enough to sink your guilt. You sink in your guilt instead. The productive things only cover 1/7 of the things you should be doing. What kind of achievement is that? Something like that would get you killed in the adult world. Are you even going to reach for the adult world? Feeling lost, you seek refuge in sitting in front of the computer again. Goodness, are you stupid?

You find someone to talk about it. Well, not really, but you let it all out. Being left out is something that has tormented you since... the incident that you cannot recall. He was a real close friend to you, but you let it go. You have absolutely no idea what happened, and you did not realize the cold hard fact that you were hated until someone spurted it out to you. It saddens you deep down because, right now, all you feel is left out. You feel that you do not belong to anywhere, to anything, to anyone. "But God is there," you say. The truth is, you are the one who is not there with God, seeking His presence in your life. That explains all the misery you go through, does it not? That friend... all that goes on between the two of you now are glances, of what I am not sure, but you know that the friendship has long been shattered, torn out of existence. You want it back, but have been too afraid to try. Why?

"Who needs loads of friends when you've got close friends like me?" Someone asked you that before. The answer is stuck in your throat, you do not confirm with the statement. "What if I go somewhere else, and you aren't there?" you want to ask. It never comes out. You are scared of hurting that friend which you do not want lose, not like the previous one. "She's just trying to help, trying to make me feel better, trying to make me smile." Feeling thankful, you slept with less tears on your pillow sheet that night.

Still, being left out is a torturous thing. I am pretty sure everyone hates it, not only you. The thing is, most of the time, the people you know appear to be more loved. You think that you are the only one that is left out. But take a good look around you. Who are the people you make fun of? THEY are the ones who YOU leave out. So then, how can you say that you are the only miserable soul in this world? You can't and will never be able to, kiddo.

-end of the shit essay

yeah well okay, that's pretty much it. i don't have much to write. went to sengkang library to study today, did emaths, had super cheap chicken leg which was super fabulously delicious for only $3.95! yesyes, then emaths until around 5. came home, got dad's shit, blogged, am going off for some damn revision on the format for english paper one. i seriously feel that this "essay" thing that i'm doing ain't gonna help my paper one, but we'll see how it goes. ciao

je vous manque, ami.

Solitude.

2007-08-19T14:31:00.000+08:00

It is one of those rainy days with dark clouds over your head again. You walk home alone from work, school or church. As you regret choosing not to have followed your friends to wherever they were going, you feel the solitude creeping in beside you, in front of you, behind you, and all around. After which, you get a text saying that a friend whom you have not seen for a long time just joined the group of friends that you left, and you feel even worse.

You reach home, feeling an urge to be with those people, but not knowing how you are supposed to get there now. Well, one thing is for sure. You make a fool out of yourself if you appear there, now. They have probably split up and went home already anyway. Sitting down in front of your computer, you search for a sense of comfort on the screen you spend hours looking at.
Thinking back, you gave the excuse of "I have to go home, it's gonna rain" and walked off. But immediately as you turned your head away, you feel the loneliness take you from all directions, like a predator waiting to jump onto its prey. You want to turn back and say, "Wait!" but it is too late for that, as everybody else walked off, too far off to hear your somewhat morbid screams.

You have no idea what you should do when you are home. Although knowing your exams are near and that you should be studying, you sit in front of the computer trying to get rid of the overwhelming sense of loneliness. It devours you like a hungry beast, like a snake swallowing a little mouse whole. You fight it, but you are trapped by its powerful grasp.
You feel like breaking down, venting out your frustrations, but you ask yourself, "On what?"
Something happens, and you just don't know what to do about it. You feel guilty for not studying, but instead, sitting in front of the computer rotting your ass away, just because you feel lonely. "Your books are now your best friends", you hear in your head. A friend told you that before. A caring friend who thinks spending too much time on the computer is a waste of time.

"Oh well," you say, "at least I try to do something productive while I'm on the computer". Lying to yourself is somewhat a great way to escape from the solitude that's trapping you in, but it will always catch you again once the lie wears off. For example, your parents come back. They see you on the computer. You get scolded. Wondering why, you suddenly feel lonely. You feel guilty for not studying. Panic takes over the solitude in tormenting you. "Oh no, I haven't studied. Another day wasted!". These thoughts come and go almost everyday, wearing your self-confidence down more and more. So why let yourself feel this way instead of getting your ass off the computer and go sit in front of a book, or just do some math? That would be a lot more productive, wouldn't it?

Oh shit, digressing is a flaw I have.

You could always find another way to run away from the solitude. Find a study mate. Get yourself occupied; mix around with people more. The computer doesn't help you at all. So, please stop this foolishness. Goodness, for your own sake.

FINALLY.

2007-08-18T21:06:00.001+08:00

I FINALLY STUDIED.
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
well, at church. i went to school this morning, because there was a chem lesson. i'm listening to the RENT soundtrack now, which is so fabulous that i can't write this entry properly. haha. okayokay, i shall attempt to write this essay thingy.

A two hour session of chemistry lesson about the Rate of Reaction turned to something that was only a few minutes long. I reached school about half an hour or so late, but I learnt that the teacher only reached school a little earlier than me. So I sat down beside Mithra and Eugene, then began to talk. While taking some notes down, of course. But seriously, nothing much got into my head, because I feel that I understood the topic well. I only went because... it was not wise to skip an extra lesson before the prelims. :/ And so yes, I concentrated for a few minutes.

After that, I was dying to go to the band room, so i did, and had a great time hornie-ing away. It started raining real bad, so I wondered if my friends were okay, especially those that are sensitive to rain when they're out. Edgar came, and I had to go pick him up through the rain. It was funny, because when I met up with him, some SAJC girls came into the shelter and stared at us as if we were some gay fags. Then when we were further away, he said, 'Did you see those SAJC girls? WET AND HOT SIA!' Haha. That's Edgar and I.

Anyway when we reached school, both our feet were so wet. But he was wearing slippers, so his feet dried rather quickly. My poor green socks however, was quite drenched ): so i left them on the flute shelf under the air-con. HAHA. Nobody noticed it though, so it was okay. Then Edgar said he'll give me a mini-masterclass. I totally acted as if it was with a super fantasic horn player that wasn't my friend at all. I couldn't sight-read the notes he placed in front of me, and I grew tired so fast! Had no idea why, maybe it was just a not-on-form thing.

OH, i took a photo with my super weird but cute junior, Justin!

Haha yes, he's fat and bubbly. Eugene LOW likes to rape him though.

Okay! So off to lunch after Aldwyn came, and then I cycled to church. Was UBER LATE for Uncle Charles' physics lesson. I mean, everyone was there. And he was teaching radiation. Gave us all the A level formulas, concepts and all! We were like so awestruck please. Haha. Anyway, after his lesson, I cycled out to buy some food. Then settled down to do Amaths with Eugene HAR. Well, I couldn't really sit down to do a subject because I just didn't know what to do. Wasn't in a history mood, did some Emaths, then changed around until i finally started doing last year's O level paper. Luckily I didn't take too long to settle down.

But what surprised me was, the paper went very smoothly. Well, for most of the questions I did! I got a few wrong, but I just really did and did and did. Hoho. Eugene HAR got so frustrated with Amaths because he just couldn't get the inequalities part. Poor him! Hope he gets that part done with soon. Three or so hours just passed like that. By the time I wanted to leave, it was almost 7. So yes, homed and ate JAPANESE BEEF CURRY AGAIN! :D loved it please. Along with beef tendon, I think.

Finally, I'm sitting here writing this 'essay-ish' thing. Resurrecting my blog has been exciting for me! I can't wait to come home to blog everyday. But as if beginning my sentences with a capital letter would improve my essay writing. OH WELL, I DON'T CARE NO MORE. That's that.

BYE.

Another day seems wasted..

2007-08-16T21:46:00.000+08:00

Prelims get closer. I feel more and more unprepared as each day passes. Too many distractions at home, and around me. I find myself watching ‘spawn’ when I get home, logged on to MSN, going through friendster and so on. And I only start at around 5PM, making myself waste an hour or two lingering around in school after dismissal, and a few more in front of the computer each day. I once heard people talking about improving their essay/composition writing while blogging so, I might as well give it a ‘last minute’ shot to try it out.

But at least I’ve started doing a bit of everything, which of course, is not enough. And gosh, I actually think blogging would buy me more time on the computer! I’ll try to write the next few posts in an essay manner, but I really must find things to write. And I shall do my best not to use contracted forms. Oh, I hope people will not gasp and jump out of their chair or something like that if the word ‘fuck’ is seen. It is a stress output device and it makes me feel better when I need to. Hoho.

So yes, blogging blogging I shall. By using Ten to fifteen minutes everyday, i am sure that I would rather do this than write some essay with so much technique to involve. HOWEVER! I still have to put those techniques into practice, and so I shall hook my audience (which I suppose will be you, who else?) like I hook the marker who reads my fabulous (NOT) essay. wheeeeeeeee.

Hmm wait, I shall have a change of plans. I’ll write whatever I please, and then the essay part, and what I want again, and then the essay, and it just goes on and on and on. but gosh, who gives a shit what I write?!

Alright, I’ll be a digresser today, but tomorrow, I shall start my conquest of this language paper. (:<

2006-07-30T19:26:00.000+08:00

wow. i cant believe im actually blogging.
heh. anyways.
today was very empty.
yesterday was very fun!
so i'll talk about yesterday instead of today..

we celebrated ed's birthday for him at his house!
yup. cycled there with shafiq.
was so tiring cos it was almost uphill all the way.
haha. well so anyway..
we reached there earlier than everyone.
actually we were racing with xavier, tau, bean and cubert cos they took a cab!
well.. everyone did. but we still reached first.
haha. well.. so. we started to eat.
or rather.. we were hanging around the pool table first.
THEN we started to eat..
i was SUPER FULL after awhile..
puked a little.
yeah. haha!
then we went playing pool and PS2 and the little keyboard in ed's room! hehe.
i guess i felt happy for that night.
the memories were great! (:
too bad we didnt take many photos..
well anyway. we played twister!
and it was so so so twisted.. haha!
then blah blah blah blah...
i drank some vodka.. diluted with pepsi.
wasnt drunk but was VERY tired..
haha. left at about 12 plus in the morning..
then janice didnt have enough money to take cab home.
so i tompang-ed her to the mrt station just in time for the last train towards punggol!
hahaha. was so funny.
once she got on the bike she started to scream and scream!!! haha.
yeah..... it was crazy but fun.
hehe.
then reached home and bathed..
then talked with her and aaron on the phone till i fell asleep halfway... haha!
and when i woke up the line was still on hook..
so i tried to wake whoever was sleeping up but..
it was just silence.
so i went to sleep again.
but it was kinda hard to fall asleep again..
why?
i didnt understand..
im just crazy. until i feel like dying!
yeah.. still trying to figure out how to upload a song onto my blog.
will be up shortly i guess. yupp.
okay.. im sick. blahh.
heh. have chem common test tomorrow!
rah.. so tired.
guess i'll just stop here. yeah. (:
bye!

2006-05-23T21:59:00.000+08:00

today was okay.
kinda free the whole day.
wanted to pon school but mom didnt allow..
ehh. some people ponned halfway.
i didnt have the balls to follow though i really wanted to go. :/
so.. the whole day was just..
talk. free period. recess. talk. free period.
WAS BORING.........
then during geog period which was the last period..
i showed chan ee mien hard gay.
haahah. although she didnt see the whole thing but.
it was the first time i saw her so delighted.
was scary.

went to band room to slack after school.
played quartet with ed jeremy and xanthus.
thats pretty much all we did.
thought about her... been thinking about her for a while.
im starting to wonder if its wise to even be waiting.
marcus wants to quit band. that pretty much sucks.
blahhh.

was playing lancraft just now.
hahaha. trying to get into a game with ed was pretty hard.
i got in, he's not in.
i went out, he got in.
hah! what crappiness.
anyways ive got nothing much to write about today.
it was pretty boring.

AND..
i skipped lunch.
):
im gona lose weight real soon.
lalala.
i'll write till here..
bye!

2006-05-21T18:52:00.000+08:00

okayy.
im here to UPDATE.
since im free now.
and im not in a bad mood.
haha. exams are over.
my results are SHIT.
hahaha. yeahh. havent told parents. (:
ehh. life hasnt been that okay? i dont know.
im still waiting.. maybe im waiting in vain?
i have no idea.
it might be the same as what happened last time when i waited.
bahh. it was crap. dont wana talk about it.
anyways.
took this pic during maths class i think. haha.

here are the rants for the past three days:

today.
went to church in the morning with mom and dad.
none of my closer friends were there so i tried to sleep.
in the end all i did was close my eyes and listened to other people talk.
i thought about her too. it'd be kinda dumb though.
i dont know why. i thought about lots of possibilities.
blahh. anyways in the end heng yi came.
and then dao yi and wan yee came.
then they sat there talking while i was still trying to sleep.
i saw them eating and was like. blahh.
i still went to get food though. :/
went up for service and listened to dad's sermon.
i heard it before.... somewhere.
then went down.. BLAH.
today was so boring i dont want to write about it.
ohh. i scared some people with my empty eclipse box.
that was fun. hehe.
yeahhhhh. okay. onto other days.

saturday.
stayed in school almost the whole day.
taught some weird primary 4 kid.
teach 5 minutes and he'll run around and come back and run around again.
haha. at least i got to slack a bit.
then went for lunch... saw janice and her friends.
ate and bought lunch for leming. hehe.
err... went back. had prac. was kinda fun!
haha. jericho sounded better for me?
yeah. then played ban-lak and some three card game with aaron jian and ed behind curtains because tan leming said we cant play in the open. HAHAHA.
won about a dollar. so little. but good nonetheless. (:
we wanted to play basketball in sajc.
then they asked me buy macs for them since i got bike..
i went with brandon and aldwyn and aldwyn brought all the food with my bike.
brandon and i walked back slowly..
EVERYONE WAS GONE! NO ONE WAS AT SAJC... o.0
i was like shit shit shit.
then i saw a bike at OUR basketball court.
ran there and saw them. ed had left.
they finished all the food.
I WAS HUNGRY!! haha.
bah. anyway i parked my bike and went to play with them at 6th floor.
was tiring. played with other people too. owned one game and lost the other.
then cycled to meet dad and went home to eat dinner.
was playing some fun map when he suddenly kp. ):<
aiyah. then went to sleep....

friday.
free period almost all the way i guess. haha.
was supposed to go out with clarence bryan and kee.
but then dad was blah again.
and in the end i came home doing nothing.
dad went out.
I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA WHY HE ASKED ME TO GO HOME!!!
he didnt say anything to me cos he got jagged big freaking time.
he said i went to plaza sing there too often.
i havent been there for how freaking long?
gosh.. stupid piece of crap.
in the end the thing cancelled.
im SO SORRY to all.
):

bah. yeah.. anyway thats all lah.
i wonder who's reading this anyway.
if anyone's reading this.. please tag! haha.
okay. that's all for today.
i'll try to blog everyday lah.
bye! (:

2006-04-24T19:00:00.000+08:00

haha. i feel so stupid these days.
cant study properly.
suddenly very distracted by dota.
haha. got some pictures....

me and xy!

candid shot by tau.

kevin chen! hahaha.

dont have anything much to write today..
was really sleepy.
tried to sleep in history.
couldnt.
chinese was boring too.
lu yu didnt do anything except bark at us.
after that went to eat with yun feng, faris and xian fu at our fabulous canteen.
haha. then xian fu said he would go ask a jc girl for her number if we gave him two dollars.
in the end he didnt go cos we said he was ham chi and actually we didnt have money to pay him. haha.
then went for amath and was so bored.
rahhh.
after amath our same group went to play tai tee..
hahaha. we were so scared that people would catch us or something.
then keep hiding the cards and all.
in the end.. i won the last round.
then everyone like wtf.
hahaha.

anyway.. im so pissed at dad now.
so freaking kp.
thinks he's FREAKING BIG.
fag.
i hope everyone hates me.
blahh.
talk so much.
everyday only want me to read read read.
think i bookworm ah.
wtf.
heard that albert's grandma passed away yesterday.
so sad.
:/

dont know what to write already..
bye.

-end.

2006-03-19T17:21:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHA!!
YESSS!!!
i finally bought my bike. HAHA!
wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!
but i dont have it yet. ):
gona collect it tomorrow!! (:
ehh.

today was fine!
went for service and all..
woke up at 930..
slept at almost 2 in the morning..
was super tired when i got to church.
had a headache cos i didnt get to eat breakfast.
in the end after service i bought a plate of bee hoon and ate....
so i didnt eat lunch.
well.. i kinda ate the lunch box at about three or so..
yupp.. uhhh.
youth was kinda different today.
well. the games and stuff were different..
we went to annexe or however you spell it for zone stuff.
played some not-allowed-to-laugh-or-smile-game.
it was so funny.
i was like.. -_- -_- T_T XD
HAHAHA. i smiled. but i lost!!
hahahaha. then had some stupid running around game.
i didnt understand the game at all... hahaha.
well was still fun.
then had JC group talk.....
was BORING...
yeah.
then left with dad to get our bikes! (:
now im home... and i dont want to go for the talk thingie they want me to go.
i SOOO wana stay at home.
yeah. (:
bye!

-end

2006-03-17T21:14:00.000+08:00

aah.
was supposed to go buy a bike today.
i came home too late.
or i ate too late.
or it was my dad's fault.
anyway im upset but not unhappy.
I JUST WANT A BIKE. ):
and i dont know what im supposed to study for next week.
faris says there's a test.
but im really blur now.
i think i'll blog about the past few days..?

[monday]
had prac from eight to twelve.
my uncle had his exam for singapore bible college.
i dont remember what happened.
hahahah.

[tuesday]
we went to sentosa.
i had a break from band.
it was fun.
woke up at ten and got my stuff ready.
then we went to harbourfront to take a shuttle bus to sentosa.
took some pictures.. but im too lazy to post them up.
hahahaha.
another time i guess..
took rides at the luge thingie.
was awesome!
i was going super fast..
and then there was this chairlift..
it brings to the top of the luge ride thing.
and you just sit there while you go flying high over the ground.
so if you dropped down you'd probably die. haha.
then cycled with uncle dan for like two hours..
went to a restaurant to eat with mom's friend..
drank some red wine. (:
but wasnt that nice.. ):
anyway. went home and slept.

[wednesday]
had prac from one to five.
didnt do much in the morning.
uncle dan and aunt sapphire wanted to go buy the bike that morning.
but i said no.
i dont know why..
probably because i didnt see alot of bikes yet.
just one..
bah.
went to dinner with uncle dan's friend.
the food was pretty good.
had our fill and waited for bus 107.
it never came.
mom and aunt sapphire took a taxi.
dad me and uncle dan took a mrt.
reached home and.. was using the computer late with uncle dan.
dont know what we were doing.
slept at like two in the morning.

[thursday]
they left.
im glad i didnt cry.
went to eat at bugis with dad before returning home.
reached home and used com for a while..
then i went to sleep for like an hour.
woke up and ate.. watched tv and stuff.
mom and dad went to a wake so i stayed home and did the old boring stuff..
they came home..
and we watched 全名大悶鍋 till eleven.
i tossed and turned for a whole hour.
couldnt sleep..
maybe it's because..
we havent talked for a while..
and i feel disturbed about it.
):
fell asleep like twleve plus..

[today]
had the mentorship with peixin and bendemeer primary school.
it was quite fun..
but BO XIANG AND DOMINIC.
those two idiots got JAGGED by a PRIMARY SCHOOL KID.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
two blooming idiots..
fags.
so embarrasing for us.
yeah. after the thing was marcus' birthday bash fromt the horn section!
was fun!
we bought a cake for him..
and we took lots of pictures and videos on ed's phone.
hahaha.
will post some when ed sends the pictures to me.
smashed cake into his face.
and taupoked him. (:
was happy too.
went to find xiaohan with ed after that.
they left macs.. and then saw mr pan.
then pan was teasing them.. hahaha.
after that.. went to mrt station..
and they took the same train as me.
and they were holding hands.
and they started staring at each other and talking.
and i was like.
wtf.
hahaha.
feels shitty.
anyway came home..
and its continued from the top of this post.

im feeling super tired now..
wana sleep.
but im hungry..
aah.
what the heck.
i'll end here.
goodbye.

-end

2006-03-02T20:26:00.000+08:00

ahhh.
today was okay at first..
took class photo.
i think i looked retarded.
i had to sit down cos miss yong said so.
she said i was short.
):
stupid.

anyways.. had pe..
it SUCKED.
stupid chong peng yong pms then think he super big.
he kick someone out of school then sit there like some dog.
and we had to wait for the freaking people that failed 2.4 to come back.
so we sat there rotting out ass off for the whole period.
so gay.

after recess had a maths.
got 19/27 for the first test.
thats about 70%??
so its kinda cool.
im not satisfied with it though.
was aiming for A1..
had simultaneous equation test before getting the results.
it was kinda okay..
should be able to get an A1 i hope.
(:

then went for saints aflame.
wasnt what i expected.
it totally sucked.
not say sucked but..
it wasnt so good.
the songs were not chosen carefully.
the speaker was talking crap and i fell asleep..
clarence and jeremy and xian fu also fell asleep.
hahahaha.
ehh. then..
so stupid lah.
we got to leave after the stupid thing ended..
so i went for band..

and.. had sectionals with my little ones..
and there was someone new.. a mutt called aki.
or something like that.
so small. hahaha.
then they had their first full band.
joel blast until pan very happy.
hahahaha.

and then had alot of crap happenening.
was super tired when i got home.
some pastor just came from taiwan.
and then we ate and now im blogging.

je suis tout seul.
-end.

2006-03-01T21:40:00.001+08:00

hey there.
got a new skin. yay.
err..
had combined prac with jc today.
was pretty fun.. sat between janice and fang.
played sacred suite.
sightread it.
was pretty okay.
BLASTING ALL THE WAY! (:
then.. yeah.
it was really nice there.
hehe.

got back results..
most of them.
chemistry - 45/45 ((:
emaths - 30/50 :/
chinese - 40/50 :|
english - 24/50! :O
physics - 25/40 :|
geography - 6/20 ):
combined humans - ??
amaths - 19/27 (:

yeah.
was quite happy about the chem.
though it was pretty easy and all.
haha. have p.e tmr.
so tired today..
played basketball but was super slack.
choo always taking the ball and solo..
anyway im really bored now..
too tired to study..
nothing much to study on anyway.

it was weird to see them together..
they were like so happy.
i felt happy for them..
though i felt kinda lousy for myself.
and ali was disturbing janice then she keep whacking him..
hahaha.
so funny.
he take her mouthpiece then hide and she was searching high and low for it.
ahhahaha.
then he gave back lah..
and then he cope again..
this time he put in between her horn.
she found it but still whacked him.
hahahhaa.
so spastic..

saints aflame tomorrow!
cant wait. (:
then can skip class..
:P
hhehehhe..
okay im goin off now..
bye!

2006-02-14T18:49:00.001+08:00

valentines day.
probably the day i hate the most.
for now.
it's always so lonely for me.
:/
i hate being lonely.
but i have to go through it everyday.
sheesh.

anyway..
had mother tongue common test today.
it was pretty easy.
though i forgot how to write jail.
dang.
uhh..
chinese!!
it was so freaking funny!!
jovi lum was talking some crap about a mtv.
then he spent so much time talking and we didnt understand what he was saying..
it spent like almost 1 period.
hahaha!
then..
i didnt get full marks for chem quiz.
shit.
i should have gotten 10.
i only got 9.
damn!
arghh..
then nothing much happened lah.
geog was boring.
no one understood what chan ee mien was talking about anyway..

2006-02-03T22:01:00.000+08:00

RARR!
im back to post. (:
haha. i overslept again today.
always supposed to wake up at 620.
then i woke up at like 630 all groggy and all.
went to school..
nothing much happened.
A maths is so fun.
i LOVE A maths!
but E maths sucks cos of paramesssssss.

anyway we got early recess cos romano let us.
i just wrote some crap answer to two crap questions and went off..
but no one was there so i was like hanging around until i saw some people come down before i went to eat.
E maths was super sick.
cos paramesssssssss keep showing her stupid armpit.
ashik said it was a rain forest!
HAHAHHA.
english was boring as usual.
ngai kay was super horny after reading girls bravo.
hahahaha.
we had to do some comprehension thing.
and then.........

band.
glosz was there.
i didnt see him.
tim was unlocking the door.
i ran towards tim and said.
"hurry up lah, fucker!"
glosz looked at me.
SO MALU!
dang.
damn.
shit.
fuck.
what the heck.
so dumb!
then after that i took sectionals and everything sucked.
clearing up...
sky grabbed me.
ali grabbed my left leg.
i hopped about, trying to retaliate.
i thought it was gona work.. but..
i kicked out at sky, and he dodged the kick.
and let go of my hands.
stupid guy!
i fell on left knee.
was freaking pain.
lied there for like 20 minutes?
hahhaha.
that's how pain it was.
sheesh.
and then ed wanted to piggy back me to basketball court!
hahaha. so funny.
then jeremy kept poking me and in the end i fell off ed.
HAHAHHAHA.
so funny.
i ended up playing basketball and now my knee is fine.

tmr got junior school prac.
and i have to take...
so sian!
i have no idea how to take.
i dont know how to correct mistakes and all..
screw lah.
pray that God will give me strength and knowledge to take them tmr.
okay.
that's all for today. yupp...
bye!

zZZ..

2006-02-02T22:01:00.000+08:00

hey!! post post.
havent been posting for a while.
dont have much to talk about.
just that my dad is getting really annoying.
cant do this cant do that.
cant buy a new pair of shoes and cant blog.
stupid gay dad.
okay he's not gay but he's irritating.
i hate it.
anyway it's frustrating.
he's nagging at me right now.
i want to freaking punch him in the face cos he's so annoying.
RARR.
hahaha.
faris and i made a threesciencetwo blog.
it's HERE.
that idiot just came again.
he's really PISSING me off.
like SERIOUSLY.
rah.
i want to talk to someone!!!
but i dont know if i should.

anyway. got chem test marks today.
just remembered about it cos i saw faris' blog.
hahaha.
got top in class.
14/15. (x
had mass p.e and it sucked.
of we had to do crunches that my throat hurt.
stupid george.
nothing much happened..

after school had audition for sec1s..
wasnt really prepared for it.
but it turned out better than i expected.
so that was okay.
then they wanted to change bm admin.
from ben thia to mithra.
whee.

mom and dad came back from visiting uncle junming.
he was operating his left leg.
that's when dad started to nag.
nag nag nag.
i want to buy a freaking pair of shoes you *****.
cant buy cos it's $159.
im using my own freaking money you *******.
RARR. im pissed.

feel like fighting these days.
anyway.. i dont wana write anymore.
cos i dont have much to write about anymore anyway.
so.. bye.
(:

2006-01-22T19:19:00.000+08:00

hey hey.
i guess i'll just have to blog about the whole week then.

monday-
we went to the camp.
saribum.. or something like that.
we didnt get any girl trainers.. -_-"
it turned out that our guy trainer, izzam, was a little too horny..
yeah anyway..
we were having dry activites..
obstacle courses, command and conquer, innitiative games..
it was pretty okay..
cant remember much.
we were having night activites..
blindfolded ourselves and moved about in the night.
was pretty fun! (:
okay. haha.

tuesday-
we had our wet activites!! YAYY!
the first one was river challenge.
we were supposed to get everyone across the 'river'.
i wanted to swim.. but they said that the thing was too deep.
so we just went across with floats and ropes and stuff.
then we dyed our hair with the mud! (:
HAHAHA.
it was super cool lah.
too bad i didnt see myself before the dye got off..
then after that we had lunch.
as usual the food was too little.
but anyway.. we got the nature rumble next.
it was SUPER FUN.
we went to the forest thingie.. they said might have bees and wild boars.
i was like wild boars!? wtf.
hahaha. but whatever.
we went to the forest and it started to rain.
we were supposed to turn back but we just continued on..
so cool!
we sat in the mud.
we did all sorts of dumb crap there.
now my shirt still has the mud smell. hahaha.
then we had our campfire and we danced and had lots of fun..

wednesday-
i went home.
dead tired.
slept from 2 to 8.
then played around a while..
slept again at 11 all the way till thursday.

thursday-
nothing much happened..
i forgot about not going to school.
hahaha. only 19 people went.
lessons were pretty normal.
yupp. that's about it.

friday-
had practice for pop.
whether played around with us..
was like shit. cos we didnt get to play centinnal.
kok hoe didnt want us to play it.. ):
anyway. everyone was quite excited.

saturday-
P.O.P!!!
we had lots of rehearsals in the morning.
it went pretty well.
we went for lunch and all..
then i was slacking in the band room.
hahahaha.
then it started to rain!
what the heck..
we went to the courtyard to prepare for wet whether programme..
then the rain stopped and the sun came out.
we rushed to do the normal programme and then...
during the inspection it started to rain again.
it was like. FREAKING FUN!
we got to play in the rain..
then before somerset march the clarinets and saxes ran away.
hahaha.
after that we ran all the way inside and got stuff for our juniors.
we had the prize presentation in the hall instead of in the rain.
it was a good thing cos there was something wrong about chen lin's rank.
haha.
so best music award for secondary three goes to...
COPORAL PAUL LIN!
W00T!!
hehehe.
i was expecting it yes.
got cromed after that.
HAHAHAHA.
i dont want to go into details.
i didnt steam or whatever okay!
:D
then just went home and slept.

today-
went to church and gave heng yi his shirt.
didnt get to eat much for breakfast except a chocolate doughnut and 4 small donuts.
was SUPER full..
anyways, we went for block e after that.
alot of people werent home anyway.. so we were pretty slack?
then did my maths stuff..
i dont want to do anymore cos im sick of it.
played blur with zheng yi, cui min, shu mei, grace, CCH and dao yi.
hahaha. was so fun!

anyway now im home and i just finished watching 'the one' one tv.
cant think of anything much so i think i'll just close here.
okay.
i'll write more tomorrow!

2006-01-20T22:57:00.000+08:00

hey blog..
i dont have time to post anything today..
i'll just have to write about the camp tmr.
cos my parents are so freaking weird after the camp.
they want me to do all the studying without the relaxing part.
so im feeling kinda annoyed because of that..
hope it doesnt go on for too long.
that's all for today then.
bye.

2006-01-15T21:55:00.000+08:00

hmm..
going to camp tomorrow.
:/
just packed my bag and i feel kinda tired..
vinc and fiana got married yesterday.
that was nice.
there's something about church i dont want to talk about.
it's not that good for me even though i wanted it last time.
the sun has come out.. and there's hardly any rain.
i wonder where the mud will be tomorrow..

the week hasnt been that good.
it was tiring.. especially friday.
sec 1 orientation is crazy.
i had a bad headache..
but it's better now..
im feeling down and blue and i wana sing songs that will make me feel downer and bluer.
hahaha.

the rain falls down,
and its all around
and the sun just wont come out
i wonder what this is all about
with my life breaking down,
im always seen with a frown
i picked up my horn,
and played a melody,
that sounded so torn,
yet with royalty...
it dropped out of my hands
i fell into His hands
and i was comforted and warm/

end-

2005-11-28T20:57:00.000+08:00

SECTION OUTING!
hhehehe.
yeah well.
we played lan.
as usual..
came home abt 7 plus..
feeling pretty bored now.
my dad got his new phone too.
ahhaha.
he's giving the old one to my mom.
not that it's that old.
just about a year.
anyway ed and jeremy and xavier were playin cs after everyone quit.
they were playin grenade wars.
hahah! :D
super retardd!!
throwing grenades and only grenades and nothing but grenades.
hahahaha.
yeah well. it was fun!
and then they played some other maps..
was pretty stupid.
they went home. i went home.
they took a lift from ed's mom.
i took a bus home.
:/
well there was a direct bus so..
im bored now.
wana play with AI to brush up my skills..
so that i can prove to kevin chen that i dont get owned that easily.
sheesh..
got owned today.
yupp.
:/
whatever!
im gona show them all!
today sec 2s totally ticked me off..
cant play for nuts!!
cant figure out a dotted crochet and a quaver.
ALi and i explained so many freakin times.
they didnt get it..
so frustrated!
oh yeah..
xiang yong played dota with us today!
hahaha.
he wasnt that good but.
not bad for a beginner!
let him kill me a few times they did.
hahahah.
little kid..
((:
i write some more another time..
will try to figure out what to do now..
hahahha.
okay.
bye!

2005-11-26T21:08:00.000+08:00

great!!
i finally got to standardize my links!
hahahah!
whee!
parents are supposed to be home by now.
they're late.
i think.
anyway.
was supposed to go tuition.
but the teacher say cos everyone take leave i might as well take leave.
so that's what i did. (:
running out of sms to send.
like have only 3 left?
hahahha.
it's been a week since i blogged..
doesnt really matter.
ahhaha.
okay.
so...
i just sat around today..
rotting my ass off.
that wasnt so good.
i wanted to go out..
no one was goin out.
SOMEBODY wanted to study.
SOMEBODY.
i wont say who.
but SOMEBODY wanted to study.
haha!
nevermind.
so i spent the whole after rotting my sorry ass off.
what a waste of time!
hmm..
i sat in the rain
of a lonely night
there is loads of pain
and there's no light
i feel my life breaking down
like tearing a wedding gown
i ran along the slippery road
i slipped and fell
oh, the rain so cold
i wish i had to strength to tell
you that i wasnt well
you wouldnt really care anyway
but i kept waiting,
day by day
the moment i had breathed my last
you said,
"sorry to keep you waiting"
it was too late
i had already arrived..
at heaven's gate

2005-11-19T22:36:00.000+08:00

ok maybe she doesnt.
but im confused.
and i dont care anymore.
i wana sleep.
sheesh.
hahahhaha.
stupid joseph and his crazy numa numa.
HAHAHAH.
ok. thanks gi.
i'll continue writing my poems..
even if they make no sense.
((:
p6 overniter was pretty fun.
WALK OF FAITH!
cant believe i was so scared.
LOL.
naa. it was acting.
portia's screaming was kinda scary tho.
hahahaa.
right. anyway. we had TCS at night.
everyone sleep and we TALK COCK.
as in seriously talk cock.
hahahaha.
LOTS AND TONS OF CRAP TO TALK ABOUT.
yupp. that was the night.

today -
i ate flour.
weeeee!
it was kinda nice i guess.
but with all the "dough" up my nose it looked sick.
hahahah.
anyways.. played their crazy station games..
and then had to leave.
FOR TUITION.
:/
its weird.
but i didnt realise how much i actually miss YF.
*sniff
hahahha.
but. it was great to see them!!
haha. yesyes.
so tired now..
just a short poem before i go.

as time passes
and i grow older
hard times will last
so i cant be loner
i cried out
'help me!'
and i had no doubt
that He would not forsake thee

couldnt think of much..
hahah.
the end -

2005-11-10T20:59:00.000+08:00

she hates me

the end

2005-10-27T20:44:00.000+08:00

today was..
well..
the weirdest birthday i had.
apart from last year.
last year was better even though no one celebrated with me.
i was in band camp last year.
at least all my dearest friends wished me a happy birthday.
this year?
all the people that are kinda weird wished me happy bday.
i feel bad.
like real bad.
i didnt make a wish.
i dont know what wish to make.
i.. just feel like breakin down..
well at least i went out to dinner with my parents.
it was kinda weird without my bro tho.
it'd be much more fun.
i didnt really get a present.
they say that the bedsheet was a present.
and my pocket money was a present.
like what the..
she didnt say anything to me either.
i didnt get any testimonials..
or emails..
just a few sms's
and a few people on msn wishing me that.
geez.
i guess i would wish for some talk.
i duno..
nobody reads this anyway.
who cares about me?
sheesh.
i wonder why im writing this..
full of shit.

swinging til im dead-

2005-10-26T17:53:00.000+08:00

whee..
tmr's a special day!
*hint hint
yepp.
haha.
got back my result slip today.
didnt do that good.
duno..
hope i can still go to 3S1.
=/
life is kinda weird now.
i cant write anymore poems.
not today.
another time..
i wana stop writing now.
so i'll stop.
like.
now.
i wonder who reads this anyway.
hmm.

2005-10-24T17:25:00.000+08:00

hmm.
didnt do much these days..
i went to band today..
got my horn fixed.
finally.
yupp..
then left in a hurry.
forgot to keep horn.
oops.
i dont know what happened..
yupp.
a terrible consequence awaits me.
whatever.. i'll just face it.
it's all the same..
that day's coming..
closer and closer..
i dont know what will happen!
something bad i guess..
like getting cromed or poled.
sheesh..

thinking about you
only makes me feel discouraged
i know this love is not true
but it's just another page
of this life
making me miserable all the time
i feel like im kicked out of the hive
'cos im eating all the lime
it's raining now
im feeling down
and so here ends my little poem
i wonder who reads them
and thinks that im redundant

the end-

2005-10-21T21:42:00.000+08:00

whee.. im into DotA nowadays. haha.
always playin with edgar and those crazy people.
it's kinda fun.. im gettin more pro at it.
heheh. (:
i got to kill jeremy tan before he left for who knows where.
that was cool. x)

well.. results are all out..
i almost failed english which is like. !!!??
maths was.. crapp.
i actually failed.
but the teacher didnt add the marks for a question.
so i passed. (:
haha. that was dumb.
dnt was a killer.
other people got so high..
i got a 52.5 . 0_o
the rest of the results are all like.. average?
60+ for all..
except art and chinese.

i dont know why i did so well for art.
i got a 72.5.
it was probably the highest for all the papers i took.
geez. that was crapp.

haha.
i cant believe i just made up a poem.
here goes..

ive been thinkin abt her..
day and night
night and day
i wanted to throw all these away
and i can never see the light
although something's there
shining really bright
i dont really know where
i didnt want to know..
but i had to
it was in a place
where there was grace
all the time
worth more than a million dimes
i will still love her
forever..and ever...

2005-09-09T15:08:00.000+08:00

whee.
band dinner was fun. i think..
it was supposed to end at 11.
but everyone was eatin so freakin fast..
it ended at 10.
then we go play dota. secretly. (:

yupp.
this whole holiday was so.. i duno.
never study except for all the tuition work.
so crapp today.

i was like half asleep when my mom asked me somethin about a message on her phone..
i was sleeping.. dont even wana care about her.
she got pissed.
then dao me the whole morning.
called her after tuition.
then she dao me somemore.
i dao back.. nothing else to do..

whatever.. it sucks.
life sucks.
wish i could go to heaven now..
would be so much happier.
yupp.
that's it for today.
whee.

je veux que vous sachiez comment je me sens..

-the french post

2005-09-05T14:33:00.000+08:00

cela a été une longue période puisque j'ai blogged .. im feelin kinda insisté de ces jours .. yupp .. beaucoup de connerie s'est levée .. a dû aller des cours aujourd'hui..

alors j'ai ont de rattrapage dans l'école demain .. ce genre de suce .. vraiment .. je ne sais pas comment je vais m'occuper de toute cette connerie autour de moi..

la vie est gentille de surnaturels ces jours-ci .. je veux parler à son .. mais je ne peux pas .. c'est une chose surnaturelle à être amoureux je pense .. vraiment..

je suppose que j'écrirai que cela beaucoup d'abord .. reviendra plus tard .. j'espère. haha. au revoir..

2005-08-05T10:54:00.000+08:00

2005-08-01T19:50:00.000+08:00

hey!! im finally back doin a post..it's been so long.. yeah.
so there's been alot happenening.. im leavin cbc.. and.. ok i'll return and visit!! hehe.. well yeah.. i'll miss you all at CBC!! yupp..

so today.. was kinda ok.. i didnt bring chinese txtbook.. had to stand.. den when de teacher asj the first question i just answered.. hahaha.. den got to sit down.. de whole day i was just thinkin.. couldnt get my mind off.. i just wanted to forget but i cant.. it's hard to let go.. oh yeah!! during assembly jerrayne jag himself!! hahaha. was so funny. leong and abel foo jag him until he cry!! lol.. den saw him sit at the back of class for the first time..

anyway.. had band today..prac was kinda ok.. den just because i was askin somethin edgar whack me so freakin hard.. hurt at start but den was ok.. and i thought i fractured my finger.. banged it into ngai kay so hard i was in pain for almost the whole day..

still tryin to let go.. it's so hard.. once it slips off my mind it comes back again.. =/ just dont wana go through it.. it's so hard... anyway.. jerrayne. if you're readin this too bad. no one asked you to come to my blog anyway.. and you got a website made for you!! CLICK HERE! go at your own risk. it's made for people who dont think jerrayne is a very nice person..hehhee.

ok i need go study le.. will try to blog a bit more..
byee..

JERRAYNE SUCKS!

2005-07-20T15:44:00.000+08:00

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iM FREe!

2005-05-13T21:25:00.000+08:00

hi bloggie..today was final paper!! yayness.but den...it's art! crap..im so gona fail..IM GONA FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okae..den after that. everyone pang seh..den i went home alone..=/ so ya..den. i reached home and dyed my hair. whahaha! i dyed my hair!! whee. but not so obvious..so wont get into trouble when i go school. heh.

den after that..i started playin wolfenstine like mad..play play play play play play..den stopped. ate. play play play play play again.. den im bloggin now. -_-"
so sianz. now havin conference with henry..he fetchin his bro at pasir ris now..

mm..didnt go ice skate..it's at jurong..den my paper end at 4..almost 4.30.. go jurong at that time!? siaoz..well anyways..talkin to henry and mei now..dam sian!!
i think i'll blog another day..byeee.

2005-05-12T22:18:00.000+08:00

hello..finally back! whee..exam almost over..tmr got art.i duno wad to draw!gona fail like siao..

today got dnt..i dun think i finished..maybe i did..no time to check..the iso and ortho drawin take so much time!! think im gona fail that too..hmm..tmr maybe go ice skatin..not sure tho.=/ mm..i think im gona go eat..den call rico for con now..maybe.duno..

today the lit was ok..i think..women drivers so crapp!! i never study that one..so suay!!-_-" ok nvm..mm..so bored..goin back to taiwan on 23rd! hehs.gona have lotsa fun! den come back go brisbane again..so tiring.haha..ok.that's for today..nothin much to write anyways..byee. ((:

2005-04-21T19:45:00.000+08:00

hello bloggie.i havent been bloggin for almost a year..i think.just really bored..so guess i'll update.^^ anyway..today was ok i guess..mr glosz say he wan cancel the brisbane trip..cos got no tubas..and euphos.so..i was feelin kinda crappie..ya.

den mei say she wan join band.lol.den she gona join horn! i think.i hope.haha..ya..
talkin about myself..i havent been feelin that good lately..feelin down most of the days..exams comin..duno what im supposed to do with my life these few days..guess i'll just have to trust in Him and let Him guide me along this rocky path..

not much to write now..i hope i'll come back and update sometime! right..byee..

2004-11-08T17:29:00.000+08:00

2004-11-06T22:41:00.000+08:00

SLACKERS RULEZ!!

2004-11-06T16:59:00.000+08:00

MapleStory rocks! so cute!!

2004-10-29T23:59:00.000+08:00

yay! im finally back! it seems so fast.....whee..well..was boring.)=/

ya..the alumni all bugger bugger pump us like siao..den yesterday last parade hor..i think ben thia drop more than 120..major jag..and my back pain..XD so i fall out..

den...aiya the whole band camp is like..not organized properly..got alot of clashes..but then i learnt some stuff....=z

and..wei quan kinda become like hong kai dog like that..follow him everywhere..haha..den later was like..i jag....cos...everyone like..how to say......they dont want me in the group or somethin like that larh...and they take in wei quan...

and then..ya i jag....the food there was crappie..even the toilets are crappie...i dont feel like talkin about all this..i hated it........oh ya..drills..timothy..malcom..aldwyn..joshua..vernon and shyam..tsk tsk.. they bully adam soh sia..

den pinch his nips..and nevermind i wun go into details..den before last parade adam soh kena cromed! =/ i was like..'holy crap..if that happen to me how!?'

but didnt larh..and last parade was crap..everythin else was..i hate this larh..stupid crap....i think i should quit..

im such an annoyin bugger.....duno how to not annoy ppl..bt im tryin..and even when im tryin i annoy ppl..im not gettin anywhere.........i think i write until here..very late le..ok..buai..

2004-10-24T23:04:00.000+08:00

hey blog..goin for some stupid band camp tmr..packin up now..wait ah..

okae..finished packin le.....wah..so late liao....ZzZ..i duno wad to write larh..so sad..dowan go the stupid camp..so annoying..ahh..wana sleep le.......

today was kinda weird..go church...then..go eat duck rice..then..go spca..im in love! with desiree..=) and you know what? she's a bitch.=D =p =) as in female dog larh..

well..then went back church again..and jam for a LITTLE WHILE..so sian..den after that..went office to plan for YF room...den..nevermind i dun wana talk abt some stuff..eh..today was ok..but a little boring..

oh..just remembered..just now went to toa payoh eat dinner..was kinda crappie..but had some daytona and made the day better..den played..and..ate ice cream..and..came home. -_- so sian right..my life..so boring..wana quit band..no freedom! )=( sighs..my life so boring..

den sam yeo thinks i like jacinta? i think leong started that..den spread..........den annabell sms me...................i dont even noe her..but wadeva 'kinda' noe her.....cos is phua lover..XD

ok better stop crappin and go sleep..11pm le..nitez blog..see u friday!
my life is never de same for me again..

2004-10-20T18:19:00.000+08:00

heyys blog..long time never blog le..well today i write a little more lah k..

just came home..went to buy food..parents out..exams over..but very sian..well start from de past...

eh..monday hor..went plaza sing..went to watch white chicks with jon lee + sophia and her fren..well actually dun wan watch white chicks one..she watched liao..but then she was very kind to wana watch again..so we watch lorh..

ya de movie was totally retarded..but funnie..so ppl..gotta go catch it kae..well ya..den later go play arcade..AGAIN..we played before de movie..and then after..=/ pretty..weird..

well after de movie..i was like..crap it's almost 7..[im supposed to be home before 7]..well but whatever..i called my mom..told her the movie was kinda long...but i forgot something..they're goin out..lol..so stupid!!

well..den was runnin ard like crazy idiots..den soph keep trippin me..-_-" let her trip lor..i wanted to fall down and break my face anyway..but didnt lah..so just walk walk..den lee went her hse..i went home..

uh huh..they were watchin resident evil apocalypse..i think song wei had the vcd or somethin..
=( i oso wana watch one leh..so bad..lee use some fake i.d one! >=( wad a bad boy..hahas..

mm..ya..den yesterday..had NOTHING to do..nothin at all..so sian..so i go play et lor..den nothin happened after that..soph just left for switzerland..didnt really had a chance to say bye..so wadeva..

and then today..got back results..was dam bad lor..failed geog..[as i expected] sorrie jie..let u down le..=/ but den maths and science oso didnt do well..all the other subjects i think got improve lor..uh huh..den duno larhs..

now is so sian..everyone in the class so noisy..nothin to do den make a lot of noise..oh ya..mark was gay again..really really gay..i dont wana talk abt it..he's pissin me off..or is it 'she'? that stupid thing..i duno wad he is..or she is..argh annoyin lah..

well today..uhh nothin to do le larh..so i think i go play somethin le larh..buaix!

2004-10-15T22:23:00.000+08:00

kid me..angel send me one =p

exams r over!~

2004-10-15T22:01:00.000+08:00

yay...finally..it's over!! today's art was ok..i think i kinda screwed up though..

well..never write for 2 days..i dun remember wad happened liao..onli know yesterday went phua hse den came home late and mom didnt lemme use com..so blahhs..

den just now..i think goin watch dodgeball on monday..=) with some ppl....)=/
and den..just now sophia call..den talk alot of crapp..=D haha so bo liao....

wah..today not alot of tings to write leh..oni know exams over..den i played almost de whole day..

just now went down 7-11 with mom den bought milk and mr softee..the flavour wasnt really nice though.."
_

ya..den now..nothin to do lorh..=/ i wana buy a doggie..de one on my blog!! it's so nicee...=) too bad i dun have a dog..i have a human dog tho..i think he's gona buy me new crayons..lol =D sighs..den now is so sian..although exam over...

i wana go out..den mom dun allow..=( but wadeva..anybody wana go out on sunday? hahas..=p

ok well...nothin to write le..buai buai..

2004-10-13T10:24:00.001+08:00

whee!!

2004-10-13T10:24:00.000+08:00

so stupid..still carryin bag..-_-

2004-10-13T10:23:00.000+08:00

these are the neo prints...

2004-10-12T20:03:00.000+08:00

spongebob!!! =))

2004-10-12T20:02:00.000+08:00

=/ to start of with today's entrie..today sucked..as well as was okae..

crap..uhh..i have only a few more minutes to write..cos of my stupid dad..ya well..went to j ho's hse today..den was supposed to study dnt..but then lee kept on playin gunbound and habbo so we just watch..

den j's dad was kinda nice..he bought us duck rice..=) den ya..after eatin we continued playin..lols..

er..i duno why..but i dun think i can post the neoprint i took! bah..anyway..jon thanks for tryin to put the right song on my blog..but =/ hope u can do it soon..

eh ya..den i come home..and den i mugged........................den the com was on......................den dad suddenly came in and scolded me..i was like..what the heck?? and like..i wasn't even usin the freakin computer..stupid old man..

den i tried to argue den he scolded me even more..what a crazy nut..=/ well..den he cooked some beef crap..i wana sae it tasted like crap..but didnt..cos scared he lose face..so wadeva..and then mom was again crappin..felt like SLAPPIN her stupid face..she IS stupid sometimes..sheesh..

well wadeva..think im gona mug some more..exams sucks larh..screw exams..bah.....>=(
someone stop exams!! it's crap!!!

screw math..screw exams!

2004-10-11T21:33:00.000+08:00

yea..screw math..today was kinda crappie..uhh..to begin off..i screwed the paper up today..didnt have enough time for paper one..=( i think i fail bah...gah..

well ya..den no one wana come my hse..so i come home myself lorh..den dad was at home..and den blarh blarh..mugged for science..so sian..think i gona fail too..

=s well then later i went tp lorh..he say wana change my phone plan..so now..EVERYONE CALL ME!! anytime u want..just call..cos i have free incoming call all day..! =D hehes..and sms oso can larh..just dont make me send so much..

so ya..and now got collar id!! =p and ya..went to tp the shop..den the guy ask us go paragon..so whatever just went..and the funnie ting was..i just remembered huang..she always boast about her stupid hair cut there..and say wad..it's 70 somethin dollar..crazy woman..

so whatever..changed the plan...den went to taka..den i ate yong tau fu..den my dad told me my mom ask him buy some stuff from cold storage..she wasn't with us mah..ya..and den..we went home lorh..

so..what happened next? nothin.i just revise some more on the stupid life science lorh..it sucks..argh screw it..den wed have dnt..-_-''' <--- die liaos..
so..uh oh..God help me..us..whatever..!! screw exams..

2004-10-10T21:05:00.000+08:00

hey blog..just finished muggin for maths..okok jie..im tryin to update more often kae? =/ haha..

well ya..just finished muggin for maths..then just now went plaza sing with jon anna and andrew..then bo liao so take neoprint..but so ugly..cos we use peach..lol..when we were in the venus booth jon and andrew keep sayin 'penis'..so funny..

den well..before that was jammin larh..but den suddenly it became so boring..everyone left after the auction for kc's bongos..it was sold for 20 million i think..lol =D

well then later they went to the library..so we follow lorh..and den disturb angel and daryl again..angel was helpin daryl with his A maths i think..then yar..i was like..why dont we go disturb kevin mong instead...? but then he came over so..we started playin hangman.lol

den nothin to do so go plaza sing lorh..and then just walk around..oh..they were sellin shilin taiwan street snacks..so i just buy the ji pai lorh..den everyone shared..didnt have the right taste tho..

then after that...we just went walkin around..and around..den we took neoprint..haha..it's so ugly!! well whatever...=/ den we went home larh..anna almost died..the mrt door was closin then she heng got through the door..or else die liao..i also did that last week..=p

well ya..kinda..i show u all the pictures next time larh..askin angel to teach me to improve my blog..well that's for today...buaix!

2004-10-09T20:42:00.000+08:00

yay..im motivated to come back for update..cos that dog is soooooooooooooo cute!

well today wasnt anythin special..had a almost 3 hour tuition..2 hours science 1 hour maths..den go buy the crisy chicken..told them dont want too much spiciness but then no spice no taste..was like..gona puke.. =s

well..then after that went church..was actually gona jam, but then andrew suddenly want me play drums for him tmr..so i just said okae lorh..

that was the scariest moment of the whole 'rehearsal'

jon was totally pissed about somethin..i duno what..so my mood was kinda affected too..but then good ting rachel just came in to say hi and all...den the rehearsal went smoothly and all..gona be crazy again..

eh..ya den andrew kept crappin about the dress code! like 'we wear underwear ok? but wait..too revealing..so wear an extra layer over ur underwear!'

den later he said..'we wear army larh..mu u got army suit or somethin? haha..i lend jon my army suit'..den i was like..ya i have one..but duno where it is..wore it once when i was p2..it was for somethin i forgot..but i remember it made me hot and itchy.....

well..so now wear what? havent decide yet..was goin to macs to eat den go back prac some more..but i felt like comin home..den see the doggie pic again....hahaha

well..nothin more to say larh..so..byee....

2004-10-08T18:54:00.000+08:00

hey blogg...im tryin to find a nice new template larhh..all those ppl who hate my temp pls hold on..im tryin to find a nice one..

ok well..today de chinese hor...kinda got screwed up..i didnt bring my dictionary..= s
but everyone was like..nevermind larhh! you taiwanese boy..dun need dictionary also can! the chinese is in your blood! and i was like..ya right..i think im gona fail or somethin..

but thank God i just forgot one word..1..ONE word..crap..ya..then nothin liao..

came home..den mom was still sleepin..so wadeva i went play play..heh.. =D den she wake up..den i go play et on dad's notebook..and ya..and then when for tuition..

did a freakin maths paper...so sian! only paper 1 and the thing so hard already..i think im gona do bad for maths and geog..maybe science...=/ duno what to think...

d[-.-]b <---what's that?? it's a BOX! WITH EARS! IT'S KENNETH KEE!!!

i suck

2004-09-30T14:10:00.000+08:00

ya..i know..i suck..but why the heck do i need to go through all this crap..to heck with it all..especially daryl leong..you are but a stupid gay faggot from singapore that only knows how to make fun of other people..why dontcha look at your own stupid gay face and tell yourself that you're gay?

today is like i said..it SUCKS. everything sucks..im like the stupidest faggot in the world..although yeah i make fun of kenneth kee but he's still nice to me.. i think i should stop..and esvaran..nevermind i dont really care if you gimme the mp3 it's your choice.. i dont care..

so we move to the index no. tingie and everyone sit like that..and then a lot of crap..dog is pissin me off..everytime they're in some group i'll be the one gettin bullied..what the heck..and ya..im not gona change the template cos i like it and biggie-me likes it too..so whatever..

i still hate myself..i hate my friends..i hate my life..i hate everything that is me and related to me but not closely related to me..to heck with it all..this SUCKS.

2004-09-25T11:45:00.000+08:00

ermm.. basically i dun like this template. lols but oh wells. cahnged the width of the box and the tagboard.. so it aint so scroll-y. but i still dun like this template. grr change it lahhh. =))

nuT.*

2004-09-21T21:56:00.000+08:00

hey..sup..finally back for a update! heh..today was so bo liao..mr ho keep us back for recess..nearly got gestrick..or however u spell it..and then the stupid huang talk alot of crap lor..den stay us back for another 10mins after skl..wad's with this class and all the stupid teachers..

well..exams comin up..so very bored and dun wana study..but wana get good grades..so must study..good boy hor? gah..this is crap larhs..life is God-given..but im hatin it..nono!! cannot...

sighs..so bored now..listenin to music and doin work..finally got com in my room! it's better now..and im usin david's room now..and kinda dozed off durin tuition today..but im still bored..hates exams!! arghs!! -tears out hair-

life is gettin really borin..wadeva..i think i'll end here..cos nothin to write anyways..ok..byee..

2004-08-19T17:57:00.000+08:00

hey bloggie...

today went to watch AVP...so funny..and the whole thing was cool..yup..but a little very very little obscene so no children under 12 should watch..eh..the thing was pretty cool..all the blood..=D

den the woman go and use the alien head as shield..so funny..got this guy in our class..his nickname is dickhead cuz it looks like a alien head..and seriously the shape is really cool!

but something really disappointed me..the predator's face is totally crap. ugly crap! the mask is nicer ok..never take off a predator's mask or u'll puke..no band prac today..oso duno y..

goin city harvest on sat..hillsongs united leadin worship! anyone wana go with me? heh..shud be quite fun there lah..with pastor kong. hahaha...today at school was pretty normal..just that i need some parent's signature..den parents not here how?

grandma..grandma not english signature...then use her thumbprint lah! what the heck..so sparstic one mrs singh..who's that irritating specimen goin nygah nygah nygah huh? ur parents never teach u one izzit!? u noe anot!?

oh ya! today got some crap form abt cca..i oreadi quit bball den still say i in bball..and didnt even write im in band there! den i was tellin caspar abt it when jerrayne came behind us to listen..i was like..what the heck..we're not even talkin about u..and he was angry for no apparent reason..sparstic kid..stupid raynneee..heh.ok..that's it for today..chaoo...

2004-08-17T18:00:00.000+08:00

hey bloggie..

just got back from tuition...so sian..fell asleep on the bus..but woke up in time..funny thing is..i forgot to ring the bell..and went to the next stop..den had to run across the road to take another bus to the same stop..waste my money one! gah..wadeva

den when i reach mr guan place just nice 3.30..haha..so funny..anyway..today was kinda weird..miss rosnah never come..den mr charles come in..made us discuss science for 1 hour! but rico and i were talkin crap all the way..heh..

den kenneth kee was so pissed cuz edward tang put duno wad..tissue, mucus and dun was shit inside lah..so he poured the water and edward slapped him..den kee slapped him back..den edward slapped him so hard that he almost cried..i think..den write some crap letter to huang..heh..so funny..they both kena scolded..think edward kena public caning..ok that's it for today..byee

2004-08-16T17:46:00.000+08:00

hihi..

today was kinda funny..after school went to library for de first time..den come go use the com..heh..ngai kay was downloadin muonline! wtf..den the rule oso so stupid one...

1. first offence will be warned by librarian
2. pay a $2 fine.
3. will be forced out of library by librarian.

what kind of funny rules is that..so weird one..ok wadeva den need to do mrs huang the project..everyone oso cannot do one..den no one do..so stupid..was pretty fun today..played 'baseball' for p.e..den never got strke out once!!heh..my team too proded liao..

u noe someting..i think im gettin to like maths..cos i keep drawin naru on my book lol..but ya i do like maths a little..

life is kinda crappie these days..feelin kinda lonely and all..duno wad to do at night..and den sometimes go shivers runnin outta my heart and spreadin throughout my body..wadeva..dun wana tink about sad stuff..ok! gotta go! byee.

2004-08-14T19:33:00.000+08:00

what the fuck..

stupid benjamin chua..are you gay or what!! HOT CROSS BUNS FOR JBF?? YOU RETARDED SHIT!!

how the fuck can you choose such a piece of crap to play at JBF?? you retarded sparstic bitch! made us a laughin stock..and the stupid dhinesh..duno how to play still act..fine that should be fine..but you acted like a dick! you couldnt freakin act, but in fact, you suck..can't even play lower chromatics properly..and you say you act..you didnt even look at my fingerings and just go on pressin the valves anyway and anyhow..dickhead..

today was a nightmare..it's like the after-effect of friday the 13th..what the fuck..stupid crappie shit! i hate it...sorry for usin so much vulgarities..but im really pissed..argh..so sian..dun even wana do my homework..life sucks..especially when you are surrounded by assholes..not all ppl are assholes..all of them are from sch dun worry..especially dhinesh..fuckin slacker..cant even play mary had a little lamb..IDIOT..YOU BETTER WORK HARDER AND GOTTA BE ABLE TO PLAY 7TH NIGHT OF JULY OR ELSE...i'll slap your balls off..wait..do you even have balls?

so..whatever..it was crappie and that's all i wana say..school is suckin alot these days..and sometimes my grandma really annoys me so much i wana kill myself..yeah that's all for today..hope i'll write sometime soon..like 2-3 days later...dhinesh..i suggest you transfer section cuz u cant play the horn for nuts..your ameteur or however you spell it is never correct..your mouth looks like a beak when you buzz or play..i suggest you either quit or join woodwind section....dick..

2004-08-08T11:33:00.000+08:00

fuck.
my parents are leavin for dallas on monday..morning..geez..it's pissin me off..all these peeps leavin..what's with the world!? ahh..whatever..they're only gona be goin for like 2 weeks and 2 days..i can..nevermind..i need to study..arggghh...i wana be keitarou urashima..don't ask me who he is..but he's a lucky guy...im so sad..need someone to be there for me..but i just duno who that someone is..makes me so frustrated...i feel kinda weird cuz i only had this kind of thing happenin to me once..i think it was..3 years ago..my parents went to myanmar and my bro went back to taiwan..my parents' plane was kinda outta fuel half way i think..praise God they didn't die..or else i have no idea what i'll be like now..
anyway that stupid gay faggie aaron li is a B*TCH...i wana slap that freakin piece of shit right now..and kick his little ass..make him cry..took the good holton and gave me the corroded one!? go suck some junk you wimp..i was usin that happily before you joined back you nerdy fag! im gona kick your ass one day im so serious about this..you beteer watch out......>=) heh heh....
-feels like stranglin him rite now!- anyway if you're readin this i don't give a fu*k whatsoever cuz no one asked you to do so! bugger..ok whatever..i just need someone to keep me company sometimes...hope will find that someone soon....

2004-08-04T11:00:00.000+08:00

hey bloggie!!! sorrie i havent written for so long..was sho busy..well..i got a horn upgrade last sat..pretty cool huh..now usin edgar's old holton..oh ya..today was sho funny..on the bus..there was this guy..he was holdin onto the ring tingie..den..the thing broke! he didnt exert any force..or else he might have fell. well i took the thing home and i have a picture of it..eh..how do u put the pic up here..? okae..i'll put it up next time when i figure it out...someone remind me okae..beat drums on sundae..heh. was kinda nice i hope. that's what everyone said...well okae whatever..JBF on 14th august..it's free ppl..so if u can..(i dunno if u can; i heard it's for parents) go and take a look will ya? and that stupid mr ho..what's his ****in prob man..so nosy one..im beginnin to feel like kickin his ass..what a bugger..then now duno if we will get to go band prac on thursday..he's so freakin pissin me off! and den..tmr there's the finals! yeah! go rugby ppl..kick those butts! make them cry! and make jerrayne cry! hahahahaha...that spastic guy..so gay..everyday pull the shirt down through his shorts..and he doesn't wear any underwear (that's what i hear from ppl)!! wad a nerdy fag..makin him cry is joy to the whole class..hehehe..oh mrs huang...u better watch out too! dont be such a b*tch and piss ppl off! anyhow accuse chen lin! stupid woman..i wonder why the school still keeps a 70 year old stupid retarded sadistic woman in school! it's too dangerous! later she ask kala come rape them with her...wah too scary to think about..okok i need to go study liao..i will try to write everyday lah ok? -thinkin of narusegawa..-
hehehehehehheheheehhee

2004-07-27T10:49:00.000+08:00

he left..just like that..i cant believe it..13 years have passed since i entered this world and had been together with my brother..well not most of the time he has been in singapore cuz most of de time he's out somewhere who knows doin what..i cried..yes i cried yesterday and today..i cant bear to leave my dearest brother..even tho he wasnt nice to me sometimes..but i still love him..and i just want him to know that i always care..i just forgot to remember the time..when he went in and got separated from us..i can still remember that reassuring smile.-gulps and sucks back tears- yeah..
we had alot of fun and enjoyin memories..i just cant bear to let it go like that..it's all gone....=((yes i guess u can guess that im actually cryin right now..actually im really happy that..that he's gone to study..ive never studied as hard as him before..( i cant understand who would as in who would study so hard?? ) life..is gona be soo different without u man..i cant stand all this..but ill be strong..u too..love ya lots..byee..

2004-07-22T12:38:00.000+08:00

hi bloggie..sorrie didnt update for soo long..was soo busy! had english common test today..brought my french horn on saturday..den tmr haf science test..SO SIAN!!! bro's leavin on mondae..im gona cry.... =(( it's really sad..yea..den the new piece oso can play quite well liao....so much stuff comin up..im gettin really freaked out for no reason..my grandma is here..and my parents are leavin on august 9th..until 25th..it's really weird..i mean like only my grandma is here with me..it's gonna be full of naggin and crap..im gona cry again.. =( waa..this sux..i need a break.......

2004-07-09T14:42:00.000+08:00

hey blog..juz came home frm school..i cant listen to all this crap..keep thinkin abt other stuff..-sighs- now need to go tution..so SIAN...den my toe pain lor..got some weird stuff in it..some gooey stuff..and BLOOD. i like blood. =)well im off to tution..i guess..i come back den write another one lah kae? kae..byeee

2004-07-08T20:21:00.000+08:00

hi bloggie..this is my firz entrie..well juz came hm frm school..todae got new piece leh..so hard to play..haf to practice alot..but most of practice was slackin..hehe..mr. sim keep askin other ppl to play den i juz slack dere..hehe..well better get workin on that new piece..have to perfect it by saturdae!? that's hard..oh well..but it's gettin better..yarh..okae i haf to go off liao..buai...